Because nothing is happening in ours...other than work, and life in general I suppose. I've reached a point now where I have had to admit that things are not going to happen anytime soon. I have decided to try and train myself to not think we will get the call any day. It is not helpful for my emotional stability at this point. So I am making the decision to assume that this is not going to happen this month and I am now focusing on the hope that we will get over there in April or May. That is my hope now. My dream is to get him before he turns 9th months on April 21st but I think it is more likely that we will get him at close to 10 months. That's my gut feeling at this point.
I just hope it happens! The fear that there is something wrong and that the referral will fall through has been strong lately as much as I have tried to not let those thoughts enter my mind. I have begun to have difficulty talking about him because I am so scared that we will never meet him. The adoption has completely turned into a fantasy again. I can't even visualize it anymore. Anyway, it has been a tough week, no doubt about it.
On the upside (I have to always end a post with an upside) I am going to be getting an IPhone next week and I can't wait. I have finally completed 2 years on my latest contract and can now trade in for a new phone. Yay!
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Meg,
ReplyDeleteWe definitely had days/weeks where it felt like it would never happen. Setting deadlines is such a difficult thing... you can say you won't do it to avoid the disappointment, but really you've set them and just haven't admitted them out loud. What you need to say out loud ( and frequently) is that you will hold your son in your arms when you were meant to!
If you say something enough times, you start to believe it. Know that we are thinking of you.
In the meantime, enjoy figuring out your iPhone. That should occupy you for a while.
Jules
Our wait was so short in retrospect, but I still remember being convinced something was wrong. You know the wait has gotten longer for everyone, and there have been no referrals either; for some reason everything is just S-L-O-W right now, which happened about 36 months ago too. Thank you for not going insane, I realize it is hard but I would miss you - Pat too I think.
ReplyDeleteHi Meg, there are no words!! everything is in SLOW MOTION..........enjoy the iphone and let me know whether you would recommend it....
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