Sigh

Friday was a very difficult day for me. Any PAP will tell you that you have good days and bad days with this process. So Friday was one of those bad days. I watched the clock at work and when 10am rolled around I knew we were not going to hear anything and were facing another weekend. I felt sad, I felt angry, I felt despondent. Then I sucked it up as I always do and tried to look forward to the weekend. What makes it especially difficult for us is that we've had troubles with the process in the past. Last summer we had a failed referral that "failed" at the last moment. We were waiting to travel, just like now, and the bottom fell out. As much as we try not to think about this now, it invariably creeps into our minds and the paranoia sets in. "What if there's a problem with the file?" What if it's going to fall through again?". It is so difficult for those thoughts not to rear their ugly heads. But at this point, the only thing that will banish them for good would be to get that cherished call.

Our agency director emailed today (in response to a somewhat paranoid email from me) and assured us that as far as she knew everything was ok and that our file is being worked on. She also told us to hang in there. That may not seem like much to the average reader but to us these simple emails mean the world. It certainly allowed us to face today with renewed optimism. I'm not going to say that the worry and paranoia are gone, but I will say that we have good days and bad days and today is one of the better ones.

We decided to treat ourselves to a trip to one of the second hand baby stores in the Glebe today. And...we found a pair of hockey Robeez! For those without young children, Robeez are these little Canadian made leather slippers with little designs on them. They are great for baby feet as they grip but are not structured so they allow baby's feet to grow and move. Anyway, we have 5 pairs now including our latest find. I have never seen the hockey pair before. They have 2 crossed sticks and a puck. Super cute. We also have turtles, dump trucks, foxes and cars. So cute!....yikes, what's happening to me?? lol

That's all for now....here's hoping we get some good news this week! In the meantime here are some pics of his room (hoping I haven't jinxed anything here). We will have murals on the walls a some point too: