New blog

Hello all! I have created a new blog that will be for our family. All future posts will be in the new blog in anticipation of our new family member. Please join us here.

We got the call....well email actually!!

After weeks and weeks of waiting we finally got the go ahead to travel. Yesterday morning at6:30am Pat, who is a very early riser, came running up the stairs into our bedroom. I awoke to the noise of his pounding feet and of course thought something was wrong. Through one half closed eye I saw that he was pushing his cell phone towards me. Finally I realized that he was telling me that our program director had emailed us to tell us that we could travel. I guess she also is an early riser and checked her email before going for a run. She knew it was too early to call us so she emailed.

So Pat leaves next Friday and will meet Gerad Yihyun on the Monday. He will return that Friday. I am hoping he will keep the blog updated! If not I will try to.

Let the next chapter of my life, and all of our lives, begin....

Still no news, but here are some pictures

The conductor:






AdoptWalk:













Tet Trung Thu lantern walk with friends:








A fall bike ride:

Small update, AdoptWalk and TetTrung Thu

Well it has been a trying couple of weeks. We're still obviously waiting for the travel call. It has been 18 weeks since referral. On Friday my cell rang and our program director was on the phone. Of course my heart started beating faster and I excitedly asked "Yes?!". Sadly it wasn't the travel call we'd been waiting for but it was an update. It seems that Citizenship and Immigration Canada (CIC) had messed up our file about a month ago (basically got it mixed up with someone else) and wouldn't issue Gerad's visa without figuring out the issue. They told our social worker in Korea that they would fix the problem then when she asked them last week they admitted they'd forgotten!!! Arggggg!!! Seriously?! Wow! So they've now stated that they are on it! And will fix the mistake ASAP. Trouble is that it is Chuseok in Korea right now (harvest festival holiday) and people won't be back at work until Thursday. Great. Oh well, at least we know what's going on and there is an end in sight.

Speaking of Chuseok, it is of course the Vietnamese equivalent today. Happy Tet Trung Thu! We had a very busy weekend with two Tet gatherings (one at Max and Vanh's and the other with the Vietnamese Community Association). We also did an AdoptWalk, with most of the money raised going to resources for public Canadian adoptions (I.e. Children's Aid Societies). It was the first in Ottawa and it was a small gathering but it was a gorgeous day so we all made he best of it! One of the sponsors was our current agency's foundation. The Children's Bridge Foundation does a lot of work both within Canada and around the world. Van's adoption agency also does incredible work in Vietnam. I am very happy that the Canadian government ensures that Canadian adoption agencies remain non-profit. This definitely seems to open the door for philanthropic work.

I was hoping to upload some photos of our weekend but didn't get around to it. Hopefully I'll get some uploaded tomorrow.

Still waiting.......

Starting to get a little panicky I have to admit. I know that technically we are still in the average time frame for waiting, however it is definitely frustrating that we are now at the long end or worse case scenario of the projected wait. Just when I was beginning to think that this process was smooth sailing, a time bump has emerged. What we have been told is that the SWS is working with the Canadian Embassy to issue his visa. That was the word last week (when I caved and contacted our agency to get an update). Well, it's inching towards another week gone by with no news. Boo :( I think it is a little more difficult this time around as our second little guy is older. The older he is the more difficulties he is going to have with the transition into another home. I know it's going to be horribly traumatic for him as it is but it will be even more traumatic due to his age. Van was 10.5 months old when he joined us and he had a very difficult transition. However I think his transition would have been much harder if he had have been a few months older. Poor Gerad Yihyun will be close to 17 months old when he joins us (if we get the call soon!). That is the age when separation anxiety really sets in. Poor little guy. Anyway, there is nothing we can do but be patient and wait...hurry up and wait....so challenging.

Any words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated...if anybody is still reading that is lol.

Water park fun with Neila and Isle

.....still waiting...urg!!

Yes we are still waiting for "the call". We are now into week 14 of waiting. Gerad Yihyun will be 16 months old on September 7. Booooo :( We are definitely getting very restless at the Meg, Pat and Van household. Maybe we were being too hopeful but I think we definitely believed we would be home with him by now. As anybody who has adopted internationally knows, the wait to travel is the hardest part of the wait. You have your referral and know there is a little person in limbo. You are also in limbo as you can't tell your work exactly when you will be leaving and you can't really make any plans beyond a few days. As well you have to deal with the daily "Have you heard anything yet?" questions. I forgot how annoying that question can be. What you want to say is "You would know if we had heard anything", but you don't say that because you know that people are only being friendly and polite. They don't think "Oh, I shouldn't ask that as I am sure she has been asked 10 times today already". Why would they after all? During this wait everything is on hold although you try not to let it have that effect. Having another young child complicates matters because it is so hard to explain what is happning to a 3 year old. All he knows is that mommy and daddy have been telling him about this random little person called "little brother" who lives far away and daddy will be getting him on a plane. He probably thinks it's all a joke really lol. I am sure when we finally do get the call and tell him daddy will be leaving he'll think "yeah right, I've heard this story before and daddy never goes anywhere".

Up until a week ago I didn't really think about getting the call much. Now I am thinking about it constantly. I am checking my phone every 5 minutes in case I didn't hear it. I am also not sure what time of the day we will be getting the call. Korea is 13 hours ahead so it is currently 11:00pm there. Our agency would have the message by now I would think so my thought process is if we do not hear anything by 9am we won't be hearing anything that day. Having said that, we received our referral call at around 1pm.....this is the result of "the wait", analyzing everything!

I really hope we get "the call" this week. 2 more days....

Waiting.....

Up until recently I hadn't been feeling anxious about our second wait to adopt. Everything has been going as planned, no bumps, smooth sailing. Well now that I know the call to travel should be coming soon I am finally starting to get restless and impatient. We do know that the average time for the children to receive their outgoing visas is currently 12-16 weeks. We also know, according to our agency's monthly newsletter, that the last few families have waited 13 weeks. Well next week is 13 weeks! We are close people! Very close. As a result it is feeling very real now and I want to hurry up and go get him (well, Pat is going but still). This whole process had been far less stressful than Van's but I am still scared something is going to go wrong. After all we've been through the wringer in the past. Anyway, here's hoping the call comes next week!!!

On the Van front he sure is becoming more and more of a character and definitely knows what he likes and doesn't like especially now that he is able to tell us and others quite clearly now. I leave you with this little tid bit. Ah, my son.....We generally listen to alt/indie/folk rock and Van is exposed to it daily. We tried the Sharon, Lois and Bram stuff and frankly it drove us bananas and Van didn't seem to really be into it. So our selfish selves decided music is music right? And as long as he is exposed to music that's the important thing. So yesterday in the car, in anticipation of going to see Springsteen in TO tonight, Pat was playing his new CD (which he's been playing on and off for a couple of months). Pat loves Springsteen! At one point Pat decided to turn the radio on and Van got upset and said he wanted the music back on. It gets better...yesterday at nap time one of the daycare workers started singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star at which point Van says"Stop! I want The Boss!". She struggled to understand what he meant then said "Oh, Springsteen?!" and Van said "Yes, sing Thunder Road." hahaha! Luckily the daycare teacher loves the Boss and knew the song. He is his father's son that's for sure hehehe.

Third birthday, updated pictures and the wait to travel

Hello, sorry it has been awhile since my last really decent post. Between my two week trip to Italy and the UK and Van's grandmother (Pat's mom) being in town I just haven't gotten around to posting. A lot has happened in the last month. First Van started his new daycare. He is doing really well there and it is obvious that we made the right decision. Just being around a lot of peers his own age has helped him. His language skills have improved as has his imaginary play. These were two things that he has struggled a bit with at times. We really lucked out getting a spot in this daycare. We have been asked a few times how we managed to get him in there as the waiting list is so long. The integration services woman assigned to us said that Van is in the creme de la creme of licensed daycares. I had no idea lol. It was just one of the places I decided to cold call. Van's diagnosis expedited him to the front of the list. If there are any readers with a child on the spectrum looking for a daycare please give Algonquin Early Learning Centre a call as you never know! Van really does love the place. He's even made a friend which is huge for an ASD kiddo. Apparently he and his friend are inseparable.

Van has had a busy couple of weeks! He turned 3 on the 21st of July. His birthday basically lasted a week as there were various celebrations. On the Saturday (the 21st) we attended the yearly pot luck pool party in Greely with other adoptive families. It is really neat to see the kids every year. They are growing fast!! After we got home we had a cake for Van and allowed him to open some presents. He did struggle a bit and became overstimulated which usually brings on stimming behaviour. We have to try and figure out ways to balance these types of events. Perhaps cake in the evening and presents the next day....things to think about. The next day we went to Max and Vanh's for their 4th birthday party. Many of the same kids from the Saturday were there so it was like a second adoption event. I just love seeing all the kids together!! Finally this past Sunday we had a little birthday party for him with a few friend's and their kids (the usual suspects that were also at his 2nd birthday). Again poor Van struggled and there are times when I wonder if he really gets anything out of these events or if we are doing it for us more than him. It is a tough one for sure. I don't know if there is a right answer. I do know that we will have traditional birthday parties for our second son so it seems we should do the same for Van. Maybe when he is older he can tell us if he wants these parties.

In other news we received updated pictures and a video of Yihyun. What a wonderful surprise. Even more special because Grandmother was here to see them. The pictures are simply beautiful and obviously taken by a professional. The video and a few of the pictures were taken at his Dol (sometimes spelled Tol). here is a link to wiki explaining it:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Korean_birthday_celebrations

Such a neat and beautiful tradition. We were told that Yihyun chose the mandarin symbol which means he will be a scholar. Items for scholar often include pencils or books etc. Although it would have been so nice to be able to be with him on his first birthday, I am immensely grateful that he had the opportunity to experience it in Korea. We could never have matched the celebration they had for him! He will have the pictures and video with him always!

We are still waiting to get the travel call. We believe we may get it sometime this month! After much discussion we have decided that Pat alone will travel to pick up Yihyun. I of course want to go more than anything but financially it just does not make sense, and, more importantly, we just don't think it would be a good idea to leave Van with someone without one of us being here. This is already going to be a very stressful transition for him that having a virtual stranger (his aunt but basically a stranger as she lives in another province) showing up and us leaving for a week then returning with another child we think would be too much. It was an extremely difficult decision but for our family it is the right decision. I know I will be back to Korea in the future. There is no question of that not happening. There will be many birth country visits in our future for our boys and even possibly a sabbatical involving living in both countries for a few months.

On a final note we have chosen our second son's final name (or should I say names lol). A Korean American friend of mine recommended giving him a Western first name and keeping his Korean name as his middle name. It was a difficult decision but we have taken his advice. We will call him Gerad Yihyun (then his Korean last name and our last names). The Gerad is a nod to Pat's father Gerald who passed away a number of years ago. So Gerad will have his entire Korean name as his legal name. If he wants to drop the Western names at a later date he can with little difficulty. It's always a very emotional experience changing anything with respect to adopted children. Our feeling has always been to try and preserve as much of who they were before us as possible. We already have so much control over their lives and they have no input. We have striven to reach a union of the two with both boys as that is who they will grow up to be. Their feet in two different worlds. We have a duty to ensure that their access to the world they came from is smooth and easy.

Here are pictures of Van's busy birthday week and updated pics of Gerad Yihyun.

The third annual TDH adoptive family picnic.








Van's little family birthday on the actual day (Van, mommy, daddy and grandmother).








Max and Vanh's 4th birthday party:






Van's 3rd party with friends:












Hanging out with grandmother:


Gerad Yihyun: