Life with our little water buffalo: Third birthday, updated pictures and the wait to travel

Hello, sorry it has been awhile since my last really decent post. Between my two week trip to Italy and the UK and Van's grandmother (Pat's mom) being in town I just haven't gotten around to posting. A lot has happened in the last month. First Van started his new daycare. He is doing really well there and it is obvious that we made the right decision. Just being around a lot of peers his own age has helped him. His language skills have improved as has his imaginary play. These were two things that he has struggled a bit with at times. We really lucked out getting a spot in this daycare. We have been asked a few times how we managed to get him in there as the waiting list is so long. The integration services woman assigned to us said that Van is in the creme de la creme of licensed daycares. I had no idea lol. It was just one of the places I decided to cold call. Van's diagnosis expedited him to the front of the list. If there are any readers with a child on the spectrum looking for a daycare please give Algonquin Early Learning Centre a call as you never know! Van really does love the place. He's even made a friend which is huge for an ASD kiddo. Apparently he and his friend are inseparable.

Van has had a busy couple of weeks! He turned 3 on the 21st of July. His birthday basically lasted a week as there were various celebrations. On the Saturday (the 21st) we attended the yearly pot luck pool party in Greely with other adoptive families. It is really neat to see the kids every year. They are growing fast!! After we got home we had a cake for Van and allowed him to open some presents. He did struggle a bit and became overstimulated which usually brings on stimming behaviour. We have to try and figure out ways to balance these types of events. Perhaps cake in the evening and presents the next day....things to think about. The next day we went to Max and Vanh's for their 4th birthday party. Many of the same kids from the Saturday were there so it was like a second adoption event. I just love seeing all the kids together!! Finally this past Sunday we had a little birthday party for him with a few friend's and their kids (the usual suspects that were also at his 2nd birthday). Again poor Van struggled and there are times when I wonder if he really gets anything out of these events or if we are doing it for us more than him. It is a tough one for sure. I don't know if there is a right answer. I do know that we will have traditional birthday parties for our second son so it seems we should do the same for Van. Maybe when he is older he can tell us if he wants these parties.

In other news we received updated pictures and a video of Yihyun. What a wonderful surprise. Even more special because Grandmother was here to see them. The pictures are simply beautiful and obviously taken by a professional. The video and a few of the pictures were taken at his Dol (sometimes spelled Tol). here is a link to wiki explaining it:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Korean_birthday_celebrations

Such a neat and beautiful tradition. We were told that Yihyun chose the mandarin symbol which means he will be a scholar. Items for scholar often include pencils or books etc. Although it would have been so nice to be able to be with him on his first birthday, I am immensely grateful that he had the opportunity to experience it in Korea. We could never have matched the celebration they had for him! He will have the pictures and video with him always!

We are still waiting to get the travel call. We believe we may get it sometime this month! After much discussion we have decided that Pat alone will travel to pick up Yihyun. I of course want to go more than anything but financially it just does not make sense, and, more importantly, we just don't think it would be a good idea to leave Van with someone without one of us being here. This is already going to be a very stressful transition for him that having a virtual stranger (his aunt but basically a stranger as she lives in another province) showing up and us leaving for a week then returning with another child we think would be too much. It was an extremely difficult decision but for our family it is the right decision. I know I will be back to Korea in the future. There is no question of that not happening. There will be many birth country visits in our future for our boys and even possibly a sabbatical involving living in both countries for a few months.

On a final note we have chosen our second son's final name (or should I say names lol). A Korean American friend of mine recommended giving him a Western first name and keeping his Korean name as his middle name. It was a difficult decision but we have taken his advice. We will call him Gerad Yihyun (then his Korean last name and our last names). The Gerad is a nod to Pat's father Gerald who passed away a number of years ago. So Gerad will have his entire Korean name as his legal name. If he wants to drop the Western names at a later date he can with little difficulty. It's always a very emotional experience changing anything with respect to adopted children. Our feeling has always been to try and preserve as much of who they were before us as possible. We already have so much control over their lives and they have no input. We have striven to reach a union of the two with both boys as that is who they will grow up to be. Their feet in two different worlds. We have a duty to ensure that their access to the world they came from is smooth and easy.

Here are pictures of Van's busy birthday week and updated pics of Gerad Yihyun.

The third annual TDH adoptive family picnic.