Life with our little water buffalo

Happy Holidays!

2011-12-30T12:47:00.000-08:00

Wow I am just not very good at keeping the blog updated! It was so much easier when I wasn't working but now I just can't seem to find a good time to do it. I know that a lot of overseas friends and family check to keep tabs on our little family. I am so sorry I am not better at keeping things more current. Anyhoo, lets move on with this blog entry and hope 2012 will be a bit more fruitful in the blog category.

A few little updates to pass on. After having our name change application sent back to us twice for corrections it finally went through. Van now officially has our last names. The final piece of the puzzle so to speak. The other update is that our dossier will be sent to South Korea in late January. That means we will likely be referral ready in March or April. Wow! It hasn't really sunk in yet. There have been a few changes to the program. We have been asked to change our homestudy to indicate that we will be open to a child up to 2 years old with possible minor, correctable special needs. As much as every waiting adoptive parent/parents hope for a child as young as possible (for attachment and bonding reasons) we are just happy to be given a second opportunity to adopt. No adoption program is without its challenges these days and we know we are very lucky to be a short wait away from welcoming our second child. Many prospective adoptive parents have been waiting years for their first!

So Christmas was...um...interesting. Van was pretty excited in the weeks leading up to the main event. But the 4 days of holiday? Not so much. They were challenging days let me tell you! He was not a happy camper with the change to his schedule and had no interest in his toys for much of the time. Add to that a challenging phase he is going through (fighting us on everything) and sufficed to say I was happy to get back to work. Maybe next year ;)

Here are some pictures of the happier moments lol:

A family pic for our Korea dossier:

Decorating the tree:

Our second annual xmas World Junior Hockey Championships family photo, Go Canada! bring home the gold!:

Posing:

Putting cookies and milk out for Santa:

looking at the empty stocking soon to be filled:

Waiting to be ravaged:

Opening presents:

The big present:

Is it over yet??:

Pat and I inadvertently got each other Leafs' jerseys after being together for years. We are both rabid Leafs fans. What are the chances we would get each other sweaters the same year? lol:

November...ack!

2011-11-12T09:36:00.000-08:00

Wow! It seems like blogging once a month is going to be the norm around here. I never realized how time consuming it was until I started working fill time. I guess when I was home every day I had plenty of time to keep things updated. Now I have to choose between Van's afternoon nap or some other time when I am usually very tired.

Things are going pretty well around here. I've been working at my new job for about 6 weeks now and am feeling pretty good about practicing again. I already have quite a growing client base and have been in court a few times. I am hopeful it won't take me too long to hit my stride. Van is great as usual. His words are coming on more and more everyday and his personality is really blossoming. He is a real little boy now! He knows what he likes and doesn't like but he's relatively low on the drama king scale so when it's something he doesn't like he'll just tell you rather than kicking off in a meltdown or tantrum. He really is a pretty easy going little guy. He likes to play with his cars and trucks and especially LOVES Thomas the Tank Engine. Anything Thomas makes Van a happy dude. He also loves books. I think forcing him to look at books when he was younger has paid off lol. Another little milestone (which makes mommy particularly happy) is that he has finally started developing an interest in and attachment to stuffed toys. He now has 3 that he likes to sleep with. Again, we diligently put these 3 toys in his crib every night only to find them on the floor every morning. Then about a month ago he started asking for them (Tigger, teddy and bunny) and they were no longer ending up on the floor. Another indoctrination success story :)

An update on our second adoption? Paperwork, paperwork and more paperwork!! I forgot how much paperwork was involved in adoption. We have gotten it all together for our SW so she can complete our homestudy. Then she will pass the HS to our agency to look over before it's gets sent to the Ontario ministry for approval. Once approved it will be sent to Korea! That will likely be in December or January. Then we will be referral ready by March in all likelihood. Wow it's crazy to think this time next year we could already be home with Van's little brother or sister!!

Here are a few pics of the little man.

It's fall:

Halloween

Chibi the super devil dog:

The frog prince:

Handing out candy:

End of the night:

It's already October!!

2011-10-10T10:51:00.000-07:00

Holy crap it's October! Where does the time go?? Seriously?? Well, since my last post (well the post before last) I have worked the Ottawa International Animation Festival, which was great fun, and started my new job. Ah but not the job I was going to be starting. I was wooed away to work at another firm. I was certainly not expecting another offer to come my way but it is a much better situation for me. It's a downtown firm with some work at their satellite office in Renfrew. I will be practicing mostly family and hopefully some immigration/refugee work as well. They are very busy and therefore I will also be busy. Which is great. I also have my own office (with a window!).

On the Van front, he is trucking along doing the types of things two year old's like to get up to. He is generally happy interspersed with full drama filled moments that seem to come out of nowhere. He is getting his second year molars which can cause some pretty challenging behaviour....such as a full on screaming tantrum after being removed from Chapters for purposely knocking the Thomas the Tank Engine trains on the floor. Yet on the flip side he is really becoming a little boy. He is inquisitive and has a great sense of humour. He loves to entertain. Who can resist a little body running up and down the hall screeching and laughing in delight while clutching a handful of cloth diapers. He instinctively knows this is funny. In fact he'll stop periodically, look at us and say "punny" (funny in Van speak). He is a ham that's for sure! As always, here are some pictures:

Fun at the park:

Swing face (I'm going to do a compilation my next post, seriously lol):

Tet Trung Thu with Max, Vanh and some other friends:

"Thomas!!"

Time for cake:

Heading out on the lantern walk to the Chinatown arch:

Rest time:

"We're here....umm where is here?!"

A walk on a nice fall morning:

"Digga!"

"Dumb uck!" (I know how it sounds lol. So if a certain word gets dropped by accident we can always pretend he is saying truck!):

Another hockey season moment. He knows the Leafs' and Sens' logos and says "Ockey!!" quite emphatically. Our brainwashing is working hehe:

"Cheese". I love his face. He looks like he's about to go postal haha!:

It's hockey season!!

2011-10-06T19:11:00.000-07:00

Just a picture so everyone knows we are still here! I will do a proper big post this weekend! Until then....GO LEAFS!!!

Long time!

2011-08-28T17:27:00.001-07:00

Hey readers I hope you are still checking in. I'm very sorry for not updating in over a month. Its been busy busy! I have been working (yay) at the Ottawa International Animation Festival as the guest services coordinator. Booking hotels and flight for filmmakers and industry execs. Its been great to finally be out of the house doing something I enjoy. Once I am finished with the festival I am going to be joining a small law firm and will be practicing again! The firm is in the west end so we bought another car this weekend (used). Big changes lol. The final piece of big news is that we have started the adoption process again! We will likely be receiving a referral for Van's little brother or sister next year! Our second adoption will be from South Korea. We would have loved to have stayed with Vietnam but the wait would just be so long and we had an opportunity to be part of what could very well be the last year for Korean adoptions. The program has been around for over 50 years and is very organized. We are very excited about learning all about a new culture. I lived in Japan for two years a few years ago and the cultures are similar so I already feel like I have a bit of a connection. It will be so neat to have Van and his brother or sister experience and learn about each others cultures. And hey, who doesn't want to celebrate three New Year's!!! I will write about the second adoption on this blog for now. I may start a second one eventually or start a family blog. Not sure. I have some thinking to do :)

Now back to the star of this blog. Van is enjoying his summer. He is also enjoying being 2 I think. Some days he seems like such a big boy but other days he's still my little baby :) He had his second year doctor's visits and everything looks great although his family doc thinks it would be worth us taking Van to a speech therapist as he does have some delay. So we are going to pay to take him for an appointment in September. Even if it's just to get some ideas on how we can work with him.

Anyway, enough blather. Here are some pics of the summer.

Yearly summer party in Greely for adoptive families:

Max and Vanh's third year birthday party:

Enjoying his big birthday present (not quite able to push the pedals fully yet):

Science and Technology Museum:

Parliament Hill:

A boy and his dog:

A mom and her son:

Summer playdate fun with Max and Vanh:

Birthday party

2011-07-20T10:39:00.000-07:00

On Sunday the 17th we hosted a little second birthday party for Van. We wanted to keep it small so as not to overwhelm him. Although I think he was a little perplexed by the people. He was also a little confused by the cake coming in with the happy birthday song. He saw me bringing in the cake and was happy to see Thomas the Tank Engine on top but then quickly got a little freaked out when we all started singing lol. All in all I think he enjoyed himself. Although for our part we were quintessentially parent brain addled about the whole thing. Not only did we forget to take a lot of pics (of the decorations for example, although there are a lot of the cake eating as you will see!) we also forgot to give out the gift bags :-O! Anyway, here are some moments Pat did manage to capture:

Vanh and Max:

Hudson gets some love from Chibi:

Van is wondering what Neila is doing sitting in his chair hehe:

BBQ outside

Cake time:

Finally, about a week ago Pat took out his Tonka truck that he had played with as a child. As you can see below Van was enraptured :)

Van's actual birthday is tomorrow. His Ba (my mom) is arriving tonight and we have a couple of adoption gatherings this weekend so there will be more festivities over the next few days.

Less than a month left of Van's second year

2011-07-05T10:45:00.000-07:00

It's hard to believe but Van's second year of life is soon going to be over and he will journey into year three. As my blogging has slowed down considerably over the past few months I will save developmental updates for when he does turn two. In the meantime I think my posts will be mostly pictures and videos. I'm sure that's the preference of readers anyway :)

A few Canada Day pics without Van:

Canada Day at the playground (a better fit for a 2 year old):

The parliament hill fireworks seen from our attic window:

Splash park fun (well, he actually preferred the playground or watching the water go down the drain when the sprinklers turned off lol):

Here's a little montage video of Van...well...running around lol. Note in the middle of the video when Pat asks him if that's his bus he actually says cheerios. That's what was in the container he was trying to pick up along with his bus. Multitasking:

Van 22 months from Patrick Lewis on Vimeo.

A weekend in pictures

2011-06-13T12:36:00.000-07:00

Van is a little guy who likes to be on the go. No sitting around the house for us. We plan our weekends so that most of his waking hours involve being outside weather permitting or museums/malls/inside playgrounds weather not permitting. Here are some pics from the past weekend. Average by all accounts.

"Let's get this weekend started!"

Saturday morning while at the Byward Market I noticed a yellow school bus in a store window. Van loves buses. Every sighting of a bus results in loud "It a baaaa!! It a baaaa!" Sometimes we'll look around and not see a bus, then 20 seconds later a bus will appear down the road or around a corner. How he sees them we have no idea but he is definitely bus obsessed. So when I saw this little bus I just knew I had to get it for him. The result is that I don't think it left his hands the entire weekend (as you see in many of the pics). We managed to pry it out of his hand for meals and sleep though thankfully lol.

At the park:

At the playground:

Admiring the bus:

Multitasking:

Blurry cool dude!

The experimental farm:

Playground at the farm:

"Alright, what's next?"

"What's in here?"

"Time to catch up on some reading and grab a bit of sustenance":

Trip out east

2011-06-01T11:05:00.001-07:00

Last week Van and I flew to Halifax so he could visit his Ba (my mother) and grandpa. We had a fun 3 days and then Pat met him at the airport and took him to Cape Breton so he could visit Pat's side of the family. It was a great trip and Van did very well with it all. It was nice for some of my friend's to meet him or see him again (Pat brought him for a visit last summer). I was quite nervous about having him on my lap for the 1.5 hour flight from Ottawa to Halifax. I am a nervous flyer at the best of times (even after having travelled all over the world) so the thought of toddler wrangling on my lap was pretty daunting! As he is still under two he is able to travel for free so we couldn't justify buying the extra seat. Luckily once in the air a very nice man switched places with me as the seat beside him was empty. Wow did that ever change our experience! Van was perfect. I was able to strap him in then keep giving him books and activities. He had no issues. The same can't be said for Pat's flight back to Ottawa with him yesterday (I didn't go to Cape Breton and flew back Sunday). Poor Pat didn't get an extra seat and Van was, well, less than happy to be stuck on daddy's lap for 1.5 hours. I think he's at an age now where he really wants to be a big boy, and being a big boy entails having your own seat of course. Sufficed to say Pat is glad we'll have to buy a seat for Van next time lol.

I had a great time with Van during my time in Hali with him. We spent some good quality time together. I discovered that if you take him to a coffee shop he'll happily sit there while you drink your coffee if he's allowed to sit in the adult seat, has a book and a window to look out of. Who would have thought you could have nice relaxing times with a toddler. Everybody loved him of course although he was reticent of people, particularly women. He had a really hard time with his Ba which was a bit sad. Not sure why but he just didn't want her around him. She'll be here in July so I'm hoping she'll have a better shot with him once it is on his turf so to speak. He sure did love his grandpa though (my mom's boyfriend). He was great with Van which we are so thankful for as my father is not involved in our lives and Pat's father passed away 14 years ago. It is nice for Van to have a grandfather figure in his life.

Here are some pics from his visit to Hali and Cape Breton.

Trying udon at my favourite Hali restaurant Dharma Sushi:

At the Discovery Centre:

Enjoying the toys of one of my good friend's D's children:

With two new friends, D's little guys L and A:

At the playground with grandpa:

Watching the skateboarders:

Dinner with my old friend K and her handsome son A (who is Inuit):

I had to add this pic, even with K's arm in it, as Van was smiling :)

With Ba and Grandpa:

In Cape Breton with grandmother (Pat's mom):

With Uncle Glenn:

Enjoying the Lewis homestead:

Showing off his ride:

The cousins:

It was a great trip and I hope that family and friends will be able to make it here for a visit soon.

1 Year ago we became a family!!

2011-06-01T10:16:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it's been a year! A year ago yesterday on May 31st, 2010 we had our G&R ceremony and became a family. My post from that day is here. Where has the last year gone?? I remember how difficult things were at the beginning and how my hope was that one day my little boy would be happy. I worried that he would never recover from the trauma of being suddenly taken from the only life he had ever known. I worried that he would never feel secure with us and see us as his parents. I worried that we would never feel like he was our son. Those feelings are a lifetime ago. I could not love this child more. He is my son. I may throw out a few cliches here but he truly is the light of my life (no offence Pat lol). He is such an amazing little character and it is awe inspiring watching him grow and develop. I often look at him and think how lucky we are to have been entrusted with the responsibility of raising this little human. I feel confident in saying that he has attached to us and does see us as his parents. He smiles and laughs all the time and nothing makes me happier than to see him running around carefree being the little guy that he is. It's also pretty wonderful when he says mama and looks to me for comfort and cuddles. I love you little man!!

Here are some pics from the past year :)

Hanoi:

First meeting:

With his beloved nounou:

G&R ceremony:

First night at the hotel:

Hanging out with first friends in Hanoi:

At the airport:

Arriving home:

June:

July:

August:

September:

October:

November:

December:

January:

February:

March:

April:

May:

Gotcha day cake:

Happy Mother's Day!

2011-05-08T11:06:00.000-07:00

I'd like to send out a big belated Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there. This was my first mother's day with Van and it was very nice. This time last year I had an exciting mother's day as we received our travel email! It's hard to believe that was a year ago! You can feel my relief and excitement in my post last year that you can read here. Back to yesterday, Pat surprised me in the morning with a gift and card. He even had Van "sign" the card with a little pen scratch. Very cute. We then went our for a favourite meal of both Van and I, phở. It was delish as always!

Me and my boy before heading out:

Mother's day for me would not be a reality if it were not for Van's birth mom. I want to send a shout out and gigantic happy mother's day to all of the birth mom's out there who make the supreme sacrifice so that their children can hopefully have a better life. Let the strength of the triad live on! Adoptive mom's everywhere thank you!

Finally here's a little video from Pat's Blackberry (explains the poor quality lol) of our boy rockin the crap out of a favourite playground ride :)

8 Seconds from Patrick Lewis on Vimeo.

Reflecting

2011-04-28T13:05:00.000-07:00

As we near a year being with Van I've been reflecting a lot on everything we went through before we were finally sure Van would be our son. It was a little touch and go there for awhile but on April 20th of last year we received the email we had been waiting for telling us that all the investigations had been done and everything looked good. My relief was obvious in my blog post which you can read again here.

This next month will be filled with similar memories. I am so thankful we have our little peanut. I simply can't imagine life without him!

Many milestones not enough time

2011-04-27T09:53:00.000-07:00

Hi blog friends. I've had a busy few weeks with out of town friends and have not had time to update the blog. A lot of little milestones have come and gone so I thought I'd do an update.

We reached an all important milestone about a month ago (I wish I could remember the exact date right now). Van has now been with us longer than he was in the orphanage. There is a real sense of peace that comes with that knowledge. It's hard to explain but the sense of a familial bond got a little stronger once that day was reached. Van had a wonderful first 10 months in the orphanage. He had a nounou who loved him very much. We had a lot to live up to so to speak. Even though it was just a day, it as if we became a little bit closer as a family.

Van turned 21 months on April 21st. Where has the time gone? He continues to surprise and delight with all the new development he is experiencing. He continues to add new words although sometimes it takes us a little to recognize them as new words. He is also in full repeat mode so we have to be constantly aware of what we say in front of him lol. No more potty mouths hehe. Speaking of potty, he has begun to inform us when he is having a poop. He calls it peepee though. He will leave the room for a minute then come back in and say "peepee". I know this is TMI for non parents but it is a first step towards future potty training. He is obviously aware of what he is doing and requiring privacy lol. Maybe we should leave some reading material in the hallway ;). Potty training is still in the future and considering what our friends are going through I think I can wait! Two other things he has started doing are more delightful. He has finally figured out what a camera is and that posing for one is the social norm. He even says cheese when he smiles. This happened suddenly. One day we were still having to chase him around while jumping up and down like a monkey to try and make him smile, the next day our out of town friend decided to take a picture of him and he stared at the camera while flashing a smile saying "cheese". Where did that come from? We think he picked it up at daycare :) The other new development is his ability to now hug properly. Before he would cuddle but he didn't really hug back. About a week ago he suddenly started wrapping his arms around us and giving us proper hugs. A wonderful surprise the first time he did it right before putting him in his crib at bedtime. I didn't want to let him go!! His affection levels have definitely risen in the last month or so. I guess that's what comes with age and secure attachment...and diligent cuddles and kisses on out part. It's as if he finally realized that hugs, cuddles and kisses are good things. I still remember the first few months when he really didn't want any close contact. It is amazing how far we've come as a family and it is wonderful!!!

Being a parent is such a roller-coaster of emotions. But I think I am finally beginning to understand what parents told me before I became a parent myself. That although filled with ups and downs and sometimes much stress it is all worth it. The rewards are so very great. Last night I was making dinner and Pat was getting Van ready for his bath. They were obviously carrying on with each other as I could hear Van's belly laughs (you know the ones parents...the full, deep from the belly, pure joy laughs) and I thought life doesn't get any better than this. Nothing makes me happier than to see and hear such happiness emanating from my son.

Anyway, enough sentiment. Here are some pics from the last month or so.

Van with Uncle Grant visiting from Scotland:

Fun at a sugar shack:

Enjoying his new kitchen:

Helping daddy clean the backyard:

Easter egg hunt at Sam, Woody, Max and Vanh's:

More interested in the tricycle lol:

Max, Vanh and two other little friends getting more into the spirit of things:

After eggs playtime (note the chocolate smudges on Van's face...hehe):

Good friends :) Only shot where everyone is facing forward. Van looks a bit evil, but he's actually focused on the food lol:

Getting restless lol:

"Cheese":

Language explosion

2011-03-31T17:03:00.000-07:00

Okay, perhaps I exaggerate but in comparison to where we were in January it feels that way lol. We took him to an early words assessment last Friday and she felt there were no issues. She did put us on the waiting list though, just in case. She felt his understanding was advanced and that he seemed to have enough words to not be overly troublesome. Since last Friday he's added even more words. He's even strung a couple together i.e. "It's an apple", "it's a ball" (sounds more like "i a baw" and "i a appoo" but close enough!!). He also says mama and has pointed to pictures of me and said mama. He also seems to consider Pat mama too though lol and hasn't said dada in awhile. He says "ya pwease" for yes please when you ask him if he wants something. He now can point at pictures if you say where's the cat or dog. He can also say baby and bear. Seems the b, m and a sounds are what he's working on right now. He also tries repeating a lot of words you say. He'll point to a picture and say what sounds like "what's that" i.e. "wa a". Then he'll watch our mouths as we say the word.

Another little aside about our funny little guy is that he seems to really find different accents interesting. As you all know he looooves the Wiggles. Other than the music we think he also likes the Australian accents. On the Best of the Wiggles DVD he becomes enraptured with the owl song because Steve Irwin does the intro. He loves Steve Irwin, so sad that he is no longer with us :( His other favourite song is the "tie me kangaroo down mate" one with Rolf Harris.

I love my cuddly, loving, stubborn and quirky little man!!

He got a much needed haircut last Sunday. Here are a few pics to finish off :)

I forgot to mention. He's been with us exactly 10 months today!

Second year molars??

2011-03-28T12:28:00.001-07:00

Hey blogging friends with children. When did your little ones get their second year molars? Van has been really rangy the past 5 days and we can't figure out what is wrong. He hasn't had a temperature and everything else seems fine. We've tried looking in his mouth for the molars but it's impossible to see back there. We just can't figure out why he's been so nasty. Even his daycare provider can't figure it out. He's basically averaging about 5-10 tantrums/meltdowns a day (past 5 days). Normally he's a pretty happy kid and doesn't push boundaries too much (we're lucky) but the last few days he's been trying to get into trouble and then tantruming when he doesn't get his way. Also not liking things he normally likes such as baths and has decided that eating snacks in his highchair as opposed to on his comfy chair in the living room requires a dramatic meltdown. The reason we're wondering about the teething is that the last time he was this miserable all the time was when he was getting his eye teeth and molars in the late fall. I think second year molars usually come later but he did get all his other teeth on the early side. He is also very orally fixated these days and has his hands or toys in his mouth a lot. Another thing is that he's been sleeping a lot more. He actually had a morning nap on Saturday for the first time in months (other than when he was sick). Anyway, just looking for insight from parents who have gone before as we would love to know this behaviour will ease up soon lol as it's been challenging to say the least.

Here are a few examples of the hand in his mouth:

20 months old!

2011-03-23T12:01:00.000-07:00

Van will not be at a teen age again until he is a teenager!! How crazy is that?! He turned 20 months old on Monday. Nothing too new to report in the past couple of weeks. He has a couple of more words. He consistently tries to say Chibi when we do although he won't attempt her name on his own. He now says mama and daddy/dada to refer to us (took long enough little stinker! I've only been waiting patiently for you to call me mama for almost 10 months :) ). We are heading to an early words check-up on Friday and I am very interested to see what they say (no pun intended).

On Saturday we met up with Sam, Woody, Max and Vanh along with Francesca and baby Matteo for a stroll around Chinatown. It was Van's first time having an extended walk on city streets. He did amazingly well and was none too happy whenever we had to pick him up or put him in the stroller. He expects that he should be able to walk all the time now. Unfortunately we don't have enough time in a day to get from point A to point B with a toddler who walks a block in 10 minutes lol.

The gorgeous arch again (Pat took the pics and didn't really get any of Van on his outdoor hiking adventures this time):

Hanging out on the corner;

Pho for lunch, yum! Pat took some great pics of the ever photogenic twins Max and Vanh:

Max (thanks Sam lol):

Vanh:

My baby boy enjoying his lunch:

Hanging out at home in his shell suit (for my UK/Ireland friends/family lol):

Yes, he needs a haircut. Not sure he is really rockin the mullet...

Another fun walk, this time around the neighbourhood and to the park:

The now requisite monthly table shot. 20 months old! (first thing in the morning before being taken to daycare. Hence the dazed look):

Over nine months with little dude!

2011-03-08T10:51:00.000-08:00

On May 31st last year we became a family and Van became a part of our lives forever. That was over 9 months ago!! On March 11th he will have been in Canada for 9 months. He has been with us almost as long as he was at the orphanage. Time sure does fly. I took a trip down memory lane yesterday as I gathered together his adoption papers to be sent off for translation (we've decided to be proactive and get all our ducks in a row for the epic name change process we will begin in June). I shed a few tears as I read through his papers and saw the little picture sent with his medical. I chuckled and then shed a few more tears when I saw his unbelievably cute passport photo taken while we were in Hanoi. Oh how I miss the cockatoo hair :) It has been quite the journey so far and all I can say is I don't think I could possibly love this little guy anymore than I do. He is quirky, strong willed, annoying, crazy, loving, funny as hell and our little man. We are so lucky to have him. When I think about all we went through to get to this point it seems impossible that we have him in our lives. But he is here and we are so grateful.

I've decided to post a few choice pics from the past 9 months (I'll be doing this again when we reach a year....maybe before too lol):

Our first day at the orphanage:

G&R ceremony:

11 months:

1 year:

13 months:

14 months:

15 months:

16 months:

17 months:

18 months:

19 months:

(excuse my hair, yeesh)

Love you peanut! xo

A week at home, and 19 months yesterday

2011-02-22T12:40:00.000-08:00

Van's daycare provider went on holiday last week so we had him all to ourselves. I took today to recover lol. It is definitely a work out chasing after a toddler everyday trying to think of ways to keep him entertained and happy. He was great and only had a few grumpy moments. Lucky us :) We took him to lots of play groups and enjoyed him at home as well. The week actually went by very quickly. On the weekend we were meant to meet up with some other adoptive families but we only managed a pot luck on Sunday evening at Sam, Woody, Max and Vanh's. Between canceled events due to the weather and Pat falling down the stairs on Saturday (he is still recovering but thankfully there was no permanent damage!), we just couldn't make things happen. The pot luck was great fun though and it was nice to see a few people we don't see very often. Pat managed to get a few pics:

The boys before the other guests arrived:

Playing with Sadie and Ben:

Adorable Ben:

Gorgeous Sadie:

Playing with Ben's mom Bev (note Van in the background who found the twins having their bath absolutely fascinating):

More Van hanging out in the bathroom shots:

Baby Teo Bao :)

Ready for bed:

Van was 19 moths old yesterday! He's been with us for almost 9 months!! Crazy. Time goes by so fast. He is doing really well. Still not using a lot of words but meeting all other developmental milestones. He has recently developed stranger shyness which is great. He went through a biting stage a couple of weeks ago but seems to have moved past it. Pinching, particularly Pat, is an ongoing battle. Has anybody in a two parent household ever experienced that dichotomy? He very rarely shows aggression with me but with Pat it is a different story. He will often pinch and lash out at Pat. He will also often not listen to Pat whereas he almost always responds to me in attempts to discipline (i.e. asking him to stop a behaviour). It is frustrating as I hate to see Pat unable to control Van's negative behaviour. Pat and I are identical in how we deal with Van so it is not like he is overly permissive and I am the opposite. We are both middle ground disciplinarians, firm but not aggressive. We have our stern voices that we both use when he is acting out. We both utilize time outs. Anyway, if anybody has a similar experience let me know. Other than that he is a funny and happy little guy that brings us huge amounts of joy. We are so thankful to have him :)

Here are a few 19 month pics:

Belated Tet photo op

2011-02-11T12:17:00.000-08:00

Last Sunday we headed over the Sam, Woody, Max and Vanh's place for a chance to dress the boys up in traditional clothing and pass out the lucky red envelopes. Here are some pictures:

Max and Vanh looking cute in their outfits, and Van before being partially dressed up.

After the addition of the shirt of his male Áo dài. We didn't get around to putting the pants on. He sure does look handsome though :)

Various random pics of the boys :)

Dancing to some Beatles tunes:

Taking a rest:

Time for lunch:

Winding down:

Chúc Mừng Năm Mới!

2011-02-04T10:29:00.000-08:00

Happy Vietnamese New Year! Sorry for the delay in blogging to those faithful readers that still check in. Frankly the issue isn't so much things to write about but it is the lack of photos. It seems we go through photo happy stages where we seem to constantly have a camera in hand ready to snap a picture of the little man doing his little man things. Then we spend more time sitting back and enjoying his antics and not thinking about capturing the moments for posterity. In any event as yesterday was Tet I figured I would do a blog entry with a little update, a couple of pictures and a blurb about Tet for those not familiar.

I'll start with the blurb about Tet. It is the first day of the new year in the Vietnamese zodiac calendar. It is the biggest celebration in Vietnam and lasts for 7 days. Every year it begins on a different day and this year was February 3rd. 2011 is the year of the cat (the Vietnamese Zodiac is almost identical to the Chinese except for two differences, the cat being one of them. For the Chinese it is the year of the rabbit). The following is some excellent information about Tet I pulled off the good old internet:

Preparation for Tet starts weeks before New Year's Day. Homes are cleaned to get rid of bad fortune associated with the old year. Families paint their homes to give it a new look. Everyone gets new clothes and new shoes. Pay your debts and resolve differences between family and friends.

A special ceremony called Le Tru Tich is held at the mid-night hour (Giao Thua) on New Year's Eve. The ritual involves firecrackers and gongs and other festive items that make loud noises to usher out the old and welcome the new.

Like the Chinese, Vietnamese people are very careful about what they do on New Year's Day. The events on New Year's Day determine your luck for the rest of the year. Therefore, everything and everyone you are in touch with on New Year's Day should symbolize good fortune. Don't visit people who are in mourning because they are associated with death. Children should not fight or cry on New Year's Day. Homes are decorated with Hoa Mai, a yellow blossom that represents spring.

Family members exchange gifts and pay homage to the Kitchen God. They also visit local temples to pray for prosperity and good health.

During Tet, Vietnamese families plant a New Year's tree called Cay Neu in front of their homes. A bamboo pole is often used as a Cay Neu. All the leaves are removed from the tree so that it can be wrapped or decorated by good luck red paper. Legends have it that the red color scares off evil spirits. On the seventh (the last) day of Tet, the Cay Neu is taken down. This is the last ritual of the New Year celebration.

We have always planned to celebrate Tet with Van and attempt to follow the customs of the celebration as close as possible but the time got away from us this year. I know this is no excuse. The only thing that causes me to not feel too racked with guilt is that he is still very young and will not remember our lapse this year. Next year will be different. I am very admiring of the families that went to lengths to do Tet properly, hats off to you!! We did end up meeting up with a few families a week ago for a Tet dinner at a Vietnamese restaurant. Thanks goes to Sandra for organizing that! We are also hoping to make it to Sam, Woody, Max and Vanh's this Sunday for a little Tet celebration so it's not over yet :) Here are a few pics at the restaurant last week:

Looking at his red envelope with a money gift from Sandra. Children are given red envelopes with money from adults as a gift for the New Year. Older children are allowed to do what they please with the money, even gamble! In the north of Vietnam this tradition is called mừng tuổi and in the south it is called lì xì:

Enjoying some yummy food:

As far as an update goes, he is now almost 18 1/2 months old! He has been with us for just over 8 months. Crazy! He had his 18 month old doctor's check up and he is healthy and doing well. He is at the 25% for both height and weight on the North American charts. There is a tiny bit of concern about his speech so we will have to keep an eye, or ear, on it. He still babbles a lot but has very few recognizable words. We think this will come in time and are not too worried but it is something to be aware of. We have the information for the early words program and if he hasn't made much progress by his second birthday we will have to look into it. Other than that he is great! He is a generally happy and very active little peanut who charms all who meet him. We are very lucky indeed!

I will definitely attempt to have another entry up with more pictures after Sunday's mini Tet party.

First skate

2011-01-11T10:35:00.000-08:00

Just a quick entry. We met up with Sam, Woody, Max and Van on Sunday morning and went skating. We bought Van a pair of bob skates (two bladed strap on beginner skates). When we were at the sports store we did eye the hockey skates but decided they would probably be a tad big and it would be better to start with the bobs. I was actually surprised that there were hockey skates as small as a size 6. They were so cute and almost irresistible! In any event, we got to the park and of course Van just wanted to play in the snow. He really didn't understand why we had to pin him down while struggling to attach something to his boots, much crying and struggling ensued. After 10 minutes we finally managed to get the damn things attached. He continued crying until he actually began to feel the sensation of sliding on the ice. Then he was all smiles and giggles. Not sure we'll be tackling this again anytime soon though. I think he really is a bit too young. Not so much for the skating per se but for the time and effort it takes to get him ready for the actual skating. At 17 months old he still has no concept of time or future experiences. So telling him that once we get these skates on he can skate and have fun is useless lol. To him it is a case of mommy and daddy torturing him when really all he wants to do is toddle around in the snow. I am one of these parents that feels really awful when my child cries. I know I know, no parent likes to see their children crying but that it comes with the territory. They can get past the crying and know that once the child is distracted they will be fine. Me on the other hand has these visions of my child in therapy as an adult talking about his first traumatic skating experience and as a result just the mere sight of skates causes him to recline into a fetal position and rock back and forth. Hehe.

Anyway, here he is with daddy. Future hockey player? One can only dream :)

Happy New Year!

2011-01-04T13:21:00.000-08:00

Happy 2011 to everybody. Hopefully it will be a good year for all. We had a quiet new year's eve which turned not so quiet for Pat the next evening. We ordered Chinese food from a restaurant that we had been going to for awhile. We had noticed that the past few times we had eaten there the food was sub-par. We thought perhaps it had been a few bad nights. Well our meal Friday night was horrible. One of the dishes had shrimp and as soon as we opened the container we could tell that the dish was not going to be good. The broccoli was very overcooked and the shrimp smelled a little off. We had a bit anyway but soon tossed the rest in the compost. Pat paid the price the next evening. He became violently ill and was out of commission on Monday. Luckily he recovered quickly but sufficed to say we will not be going back to that restaurant again! Thankfully I didn't get sick so we figure he must have eaten a particularly bad shrimp. On a brighter note, we spent a couple of hours on new year's day at a friend's who recently returned from Vietnam with her baby son Matteo. It was our first time meeting him and as always it is so nice welcoming a new "member" into our little community. Pat wasn't yet sick so managed to take some pictures.

Ready to go in spiffy new clothes:

Cute baby Matteo:

V-man looking handsome in xmas sweater set from Cape Breton family:

Like daddy like son lol. Woody and Vanh (I think hehe):

The boys:

Here are a couple of funny pictures of little dude's favourite pastime, making out with his reflection.

Doing the deed:

Interrupted..."Huh?":

Good times!

First xmas as a family of three

2010-12-28T08:42:00.000-08:00

Well I hope everybody is having a great holiday season. Ours has been pretty low key. As we don't have any family nearby it was just the three of us (6 if you include the cats and dog). We kept our gift purchasing for Van to a minimum because we knew he has really no clue what all the fuss is about and also the family had sent a sizable haul. There are a couple of simple traditions we have for the holidays that we decided to introduce him to. One of them is that Pat makes raisin bread using his mom's traditional recipe. It is made from scratch on xmas eve.

Then it is toasted and enjoyed xmas morning. Van seemed to like this tradition.

Another tradition for us (and for most Canadians) is to watch the World Junior Hockey Championships which officially starts on Boxing Day and run into the New Year. We decided a family pic with us in our Canadian sweaters (jerseys) was in order. Sadly we don't have any that would fit the cats. Besides, I challenge anyone to attempt to dress two cats and then pose with them ;) We tried the multiple picture setting on our camera and hoped for the best. 20 pictures later and this is probably the best one.

Another example in the funny but no so good pile.

Finally it was xmas present time. We decided to leave the presents from Santa unwrapped (another tradition acquired from Pat's family). Van did notice that there were new toys. Actually new is a bit generous on the parking garage one. We had bought that before we even went to Vietnam. We had it out for Van in the summer but he showed no interest so into the basement it went until Santa brought it out for xmas. Sadly he is still not into it (mainly just tries to climb it) so it has once again been relegated to the basement for another future attempt. Here he is checking out some of his loot.

He needed a bit of help figuring out the stocking.

Some afternoon fun on his new sleigh.

Out of the sleigh and into the fun of playing in the snow.

Some after nap fun. Chicken puppet is coming to get you...

Num num num...

I hope everybody has a great New Year and 2011 is auspicious for one and all :)

17 months old

2010-12-21T13:06:00.000-08:00

V-man is 17 months old today. Wow! He says bye all the time now (at the appropriate moments too). He also says "ohohoh" when you ask him what santa says. Other new, and cute I might add, developments are that he will kiss on demand (particularly pictures or his own reflection), he claps in the traditional way now and also bounces up and down when he is dancing. His daycare provider says that he knows the names of his daycare friends and has a few other words that of course we never hear at home, sigh. His personality is growing everyday and he is such a delight (ok, maybe not at mealtimes lol).

This past Sunday we hosted a xmas cookie exchange. Four other families from the adoption community came over along with a friend from the neighbourhood. As always it is great to get the children together and I think everybody had a nice time. We have about a hundred cookies we have to consume over the next few weeks though! Yikes!

Here are some pics:

The table laid out with all the wonderful cookies. Some people went to great lenghs to create the most delicious and attractive cookies. Mine left a little to be desired but I have been told they were tasty....hmmm, I think people are just being nice.

Fun in the ball tent:

Looking pensive:

Tickle time:

By the way, here is a video of Van "dancing". Unfortunately it uploaded sideways and we can't figure out how to rotate it. Argg!

Bustin' a Move from Patrick Lewis on Vimeo.

6 Months home

2010-12-13T11:42:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was my birthday but it was also cause for another celebration. It's been 6 months since we have been back in Canada with little V-man. It's hard to believe that it has been 6 months already. Time sure does go by fast! Van has adjusted pretty well to life with his Canadian family. Everyday brings us closer together as a family and I cannot imagine life without him. It has been a fun, amazing, stressful, exacerbating, overwhelming, emotional journey so far. I look forward to the journey ahead. Here are some pictures from the weekend:

Playing:

Fun outside:

Entranced with The Wiggles:

Here's to the next 6 months little man. We love you!

Happy holidays...hehe

2010-12-09T11:17:00.000-08:00

Keeping the V-man entertained

2010-12-07T09:55:00.000-08:00

Now I know why parents are constantly talking about being exhausted. It really is exhausting trying to keep a 16 month old busy and entertained. We always try and plan our weekends in advance so we have things to do with him. This past weekend we thought we'd take him to the arboretum at the experimental farm. We'd taken him to the animal barns two weekends in a row so this time we figured he would enjoy just running around the park. It is true he did enjoy it but it involved a lot of falling due to being trussed up in his winter clothing and still getting his toddler legs underneath him. So for us it involved pulling him up endlessly (winter clothes=difficulty getting up on one's own). So, fun for him not so fun for us lol. He was none to happy when we decided it was time to go, but to be fair to us he was spending more time lying on the cold ground than actually walking. Life can be tough for a 16 month old. Here is a picture montage of his time walking, running and of course falling:

After his afternoon nap we decided to check out a small craft fair and then take a walk around Chinatown. It was a beautiful late afternoon with the sun setting and fresh, fat snow flakes falling. Van sat back in his stroller and enjoyed a fortune cookie he received from the owner of one of our favourite Asian fusion restaurants where we popped in for an order of spring rolls for dinner:

The new arch also looked amazing. It just seemed magical:

A new development in Van's life is that he has suddenly developed an interest in children DVD's. We had been hoping that he would eventually show interest. Not that we are looking for a "babysitter" in the form of a t.v., but you have to understand how "active" our little man is. We had tried a few different varieties such as "The Big Comfy Couch" and "Bob the Builder". No luck. He really did not find it interesting at all. So we did a bit of research and discovered "The Wiggles". It seemed to get rave reviews from kids and parents alike (well, parents liked the content for the kids but of course the songs do become mind numbingly ingrained in your brain! I have woken up many times recently with a few of the songs running through my head). Well, he loves them! As soon as dinner is done he runs into the living room and looks at the t.v. doing his "uh uh uh" demanding noises. I think we may have created a monster! We wanted him to like a watchable program but didn't want him to be obsessed! He does continue to play and interact with us which is good but he is definitely enamored with this DVD. We have bought a Wiggles xmas special for xmas just to add variety to the songs we are being forced to listen to over and over. I have to say though that as far as kid's "acts" go "The Wiggles" are pretty good. The songs are fun and the corresponding dances are quite intricate and encourage kids to be active. I was even thinking they would make good fitness DVD's for adults lol. One really positive thing that has come out of this recent interest of his is that it calms him down before bed. You wouldn't think that would be the case but it really does. Before he used to be bouncing off the walls before bed mainly due to being tired. This would carry through to his before bed story time where he would often be too hyped up to relax and allow us to read to him. Since introducing "The Wiggles" he has really calmed down and bedtime has become quite relaxing. I think it is because he concentrates on the DVD and it helps him unwind. Anyway, now we just have to find a balance between having the DVD on and not having it on.....Here he is watching his favourite "fab four":

The obligatory Santa visit

2010-11-28T18:27:00.000-08:00

Last Wednesday I received a call from our daycare provider that Van had been running and had fallen into the bottom of her stairs. She told me he had a big goose egg on his forehead and was pretty upset. She suggested we better come and get him. He in fact did have quite the goose egg but was unscathed otherwise. He calmed as soon as he was with us a had a nice long nap when he got home. When he woke up we thought we might as well take him to the mall for something to do. While there we noticed the Santa enclosure was set up and there was no line! Why not try and get him to sit through the obligatory Santa photo? Goose egg and all? So we brought him in and sat him on Santa's lap. I'll give him credit, he didn't freak out. He didn't really want to be there though. He whined and squirmed out of his lap. We put him back in and encouraged "santa" to hold on to him a bit tighter (geeze you'd think the guy had experience wrangling kids, that is his job after all. He never attempted to interact with Van at all and seemed very uncomfortable). On seeing that he couldn't squirm out of his lap he craned his head around to look at this strange man and said something along the lines of "Banga ba?" (a note about this later). When he turned back around we got a quick photo before he was back off buddy's lap again. We thought he might want to play in the enclosure but nope, as soon as his feet hit the ground he was outta there! Ran straight out of the enclosure and took off into the main part of the mall. So no big freak out but definitely not impressed lol. Here is the final product (note the bruise on his forehead):

Now, back to the "Banga ba". Lately he has been saying words similar to this a lot i.e. banga banga...banga ba...banga banga ba. His daycare provider is not sure where it came from as none of the other kids have been making similar sounds. She had the thought that it might be Vietnamese and has asked a friend of hers. We have yet to hear the consensus. After doing a lot of reading I have discovered that it is not at all uncommon for internationally adopted children to express, verbally, first words or even grammatical structures from their first language. It makes sense as they have spent 9 months in the womb hearing that language and then, in Van's case, a further 10 months listening to it. His brain is hard wired to Vietnamese. I read about a little girl who was adopted from China at 6 months old who at 2 years old began "speaking" words that her parents could not recognize at all. While in a Chinese restaurant one evening a Chinese diner recognized baby Chinese and informed her parents. Amazing eh? There is so much we don't know and so much we have to learn. So is banga banga ba rudimentary Vietnamese? I would love to know!! I hope we find out.

We returned to the experimental farm this Sunday for another run around the barn. Here are a few pictures (and yes it is the same outer wear from last week lol):

One more pic of little dude trying on mama's sunglasses. Cute right? lol:

16 Months Old

2010-11-25T13:38:00.001-08:00

Wow, where does the time go?? Van turned 16 months old on November 21st. Some days I think I see many changes and other days he seems like the same little guy we met at the orphanage almost 6 months ago. He still appears to be teething on and off with with one more molar to show for it. His upper eye teeth have also been threatening to come through for about a month now. The teething, as mentioned in my last post, has been such a struggle for our little guy. He really appears to be in significant pain much of time. It is also amazing how it can effect a child's personality. At its worst the teething can turn him into a completely different personality with lots of tantrums and melt downs. Then a break in the teething brings back the happy little guy who appears to be able to roll with the punches. I am convinced that the bad rap toddlers get are due in large part to teething as it can effect every aspect of their daily (and nightly) lives. Luckily for us no matter how bad it gets during the day, he always sleeps through the night. I know we are very lucky in this respect!!

As far as his other development goes, he has managed to find the patience to begin sitting through a few songs at day care (not with us yet though lol). He is definitely taking more interest in what other children are doing and wanting to become more involved. He is starting to become a bit more pushy with toys. Before he might try and take one away but wouldn't kick up a fuss if another child tried to take it back. Now he is beginning to feel somewhat possessive. He doesn't kick up a fuss, he just holds on tight and tries to turn his body away from the other child. I still do not really hear many words although his daycare provider continues to insist that he has a number of words now. When dropping him off at daycare one morning Pat did witness him saying "Ya Please" when his provider asked him if he wanted his breakfast. At first he said "Ya" and then she said "Yes please"? and he said "Ya Please" in response. Yesterday morning when saying goodbye to Pat and Van as they left the house Van looked at me then took his finger and poked Pat on the chest and said "Dada". I definitely heard and saw him say that. Still waiting for him to do that and say mama although he has said mama numerous times before I've just never been sure if he knew the meaning. This morning at a doctor's appointment he actually brought me a doll and the plastic bottle (they have toys there) and pretended to feed the doll. I know this is a developmental stage but I was still surprised to see it as he has never shown any interest in dolls or stuffed animals before. I think the little girls at his daycare are having a good influence on him :)

On Sunday (the day he turned 16 months) we met up with Sam, Woody, Max and Vanh and went to the agricultural museum at the experimental farm. We were very curious to see how Van would react seeing the animals in the barn. Well he had no fear that's for sure! He stuck his hands in to pet the sheep and goats and allowed a calf to lick his hands and forehead! I tell you this boy has no fear! We're going to have to watch him like hawks! After the barn we went for a nice lunch at a new favourite pho restaurant. Here are a few pictures:

After his afternoon nap we headed to our friend's David and Brenna's place for dinner. Of course a pre-dinner snack of pita bread and hummus was in order for Van and 18 month old Neila:

"I am 16 months old!" (BTW the bruise is a result of a fall at daycare):

Ode to teething

2010-11-16T13:32:00.000-08:00

Oh little teeth trying to force your way through
sore and tender gums
How I wish you would come all at once
like the beat of 20 drums
Instead your emergence is in fits and starts
and all together bumpy
The result of which is much pain
and a toddler that is grumpy
A grumpy toddler is not really much fun
and many tantrums are the result
Sometimes odd and startling noises emerge
bringing visions of the occult
Moans and yells and sometimes shrieks
from such a little mouth
Makes one want to pack some suitcases
and head for a holiday down south
So please please hear the desperate plea
of a tired and rankled mother
We have all suffered through months of pain
and can't imagine another

As you can tell from my amateurish "poem" teething has become quite the epic adventure in this house. I am sure many many parents can relate lol. We constantly wonder why it takes so so so long for a few teeth to come through. Little dude has been suffering through almost constant, horrible teething pain for the past 2 months. The end result so far is 2 molars and very swollen gums around the upper eye teeth area. The eye teeth have been threatening to come through for 3 weeks now. Come through already! Jebus! Poor little dude is at his own wits end with this. He is not eating well, not sleeping well and having a lot of meltdowns and tantrums. Every other week or so things seems to calm down in his mouth and he (and us) get a week or a few days of happy bliss. Then the damn things start ratcheting up again. Who knew that this process could be so long and so awful for some kids. There is nothing we can do for him other than offer him comfort when he needs it and a mild doc approved pain killer when it's at its worst.

Anyway, here is a little picture of him when he is pain free and happy :)

First Halloween

2010-11-01T13:53:00.000-07:00

Well as with a lot of the firsts, we had high expectations for Halloween. We should know by now that expectations are useless when dealing with a toddler lol. Our big plan had been to go to the twins (Max and Vanh) place and hit their neighbourhood. Sam had found a great Pooh Bear outfit as Max and Vanh had decided they wanted to be Piglet and Tigger. It would have been perfect with a bunch of prime photo opportunities. Well Van had other ideas. Between the endless teething pain and fighting a cold (that has plagued me since last week), he just wasn't up for a trip in the car and a lateish night. We decided to take him to 3 of our neighbours' houses instead and get him to bed a bit early. I don't think he ever knew what was really going on and was more intent on getting into our neighbours' homes rather than accept the candy on offer. Here are a few pictures (my mother visited this weekend but sadly we didn't manage to get any pictures with her and Van):

Costume is on:

Watching our neighbour Mark get the shared front step shoveled off in readiness for the trick or treaters:

The first house. A bit confused:

He knows our neighbours so ran in right away...past C.C and into the living room. It took a bit of coaxing to get him to come back and accept some candy lol:

Darkness has arrived. Even Superman and his dog SuperChibi need to call it a night at some point:

We did manage to get together with a few other adoptive families on Saturday for a little Halloween get together. Kindly hosted by Cindy and her super cute daughter Hannah. We decided to try for a group shot on the couch. After a few tries we finally got one.

An adjustment to Tigger:

Superman is trying to get away:

Now Superman is traumatizing the little lady beside him:

Finally, success! From left to right: Vanh and Max (27 months), Hannah (almost 3), Van (15 months) and Olivia (12 months).

Trying on a Mexican wrestling mask from one of daddy's previous costumes :)

He thought the mask was pretty funny!

Unrelated to Halloween but equally as monumental in Van's young life, his first exposure to snow:

I will end with a recent picture of Van that I just love!

Update and a little blurb about bullying

2010-10-07T11:20:00.000-07:00

Hello all. It has been about 3 weeks since my last blog! Yikes! I think that's the longest I have ever gone without at least a small blurb. It's not like nothing has been happening either. There have been a few changes around her. First, little dude's daycare closed down and he started a new one. It came as a complete surprise to us and we did not see it coming at all. Our daycare provider showed up at our house on a Sunday and told us that she was giving us two weeks notice because she had decided to close. She gave us a long, somewhat odd, explanation. Well there was not much we could do. Our hearts broke for yet another upheaval and change our little guy would have to go through. The door had barely closed behind her when we got right to trying to find another daycare. I posted on Facebook and one of the waiting parents (thanks Francesca!) pm'ed me a bunch of possible options (many others as well gave suggestions which was so appreciated). One of Francesca's suggestions looked good and we contacted the woman right away. Pat met with her the Monday and we had signed the contract by Tuesday! Good thing we acted fast because one of the other poor families left in the lurch by our former daycare had contacted our new provider as well. Thankfully we got there first. The new daycare is great and Van has adjusted well. The nice change for him is that the other kids are girls this time as opposed to boys. I say this because Van loves little girls lol. Not sure why at this age but he is definitely drawn to girls over boys. He likes playing with their hair and touching their faces. The other day we were at the playground and he ignored all the little boys that were there. Then this lady came in with a little girl about Van's age in a stroller and Van made a beeline for her. Literally ran over. Once there he set about touching her face and trying to get at her hair. She was having none of it though and was not to happy to have this little face crowding her while she was stuck in her stroller. We had to drag him away. Yikes! Already a Casanova in training.

His development seems to be moving along. He is pretty much feeding himself now. I decided yesterday to stop even attempting to feed him. He has been mostly feeding himself for about 2 months now but I was still helping him with the spoon. Well lately every meal was becoming a battle field with him batting away the spoon and whining and fussing. I decided yesterday that I was done with the stress of the constant battles. I figure even if he is not proficient enough with the spoon to get everything he wants, he can still try and eat with his fingers. I had to let go of my worry that he wasn't getting enough food in him. Everybody I've spoken to has said if he's hungry he will find a way to eat. So I relented and made the decision to not be concerned (easier said than done) if he barely touched some meals. I guess fussy eating and picking at food is par for the course with a toddler. Mommy has to let go of the control. He's not a baby anymore! He is certainly not starving anyway. His check up last week revealed he is up to 22 pounds which means he gained a pound in about a month. I think that will taper off now though. At his doctor's appointment a month ago we were told that his babbling was considered in the 90th percentile (maybe I mentioned this in previous post). His words now appear to be ya, mama/dada (both of which he says only occasionally) and milk. I haven't heard milk but his daycare provider says he has said it and Pat heard him say it too...hmmm...

Ok, now I want to talk a little about bullying as it seems to be on people's minds these days due to Ellen's talk (haven't watched this myself). As well another AP blogger did a long post about his experiences in the hopes that it may help. I too was the victim of pretty serious bullying. When I was living in Toronto and in grade 8, one of my male classmates decided he felt the need to make my life a living hell. He would constantly call me stupid and ugly. He would shoulder check me into lockers when no one was looking. When the teacher would leave the room he would get up and stand in front of me and call me every horrible name you can think of. It was relentless. Luckily none of the other students in the class joined in. In fact everybody just sat there in silence. My impression was that they were scared. Eventually it became so awful that I complained to the principle and I was transferred to another class. Interestingly, the University of Toronto decided to use my case as a study on bullying. Both myself and the bully were interviewed at length about, in my case, how it made me feel and in his case why he was doing it. I was later told that he did it because he liked me i.e. had a crush on me. In any event, life was great after being transferred. I had a lot of very good friends at my school so I was able to quickly move on. Many kids that are bullied don't have that. I can say that it did have a permanent impact on me. It made me more wary of people but also made me stronger and more confident. I decided I would not take shit from anybody. It made me tough. But it also made me insecure underneath it all. I did experience minor bullying again a few more times before high school but was able to deal with it. After grade 8 my mother decided we should move to small town Nova Scotia. I didn't like that too much. I was definitely an outsider, again, and got teased. I spent much of the year skipping school or running away. Sufficed to say I failed grade 9. Luckily I has started school young so when I repeated grade 9 I was the same age as everybody else. We moved to Halifax for the second grade 9 attempt and I was once again an outsider. One of the girls in my class decided to give me a hard time. I ignored her and went about making friends (which I have always been good at thankfully). One day she and I found ourselves on the same bus heading to a talent agency as we both liked acting. We walked in together and were both rejected lol. That rejection was very hard on her and I was there to comfort her. We became good friends after that and are still in contact today. Sometimes it is a bully's own insecurities that drive them to bully others. Perhaps they were also bullied. It is such a complex issue and I wonder if it will ever be resolved as my sense is that it has been around since the beginning of time as it exists in many other animal species as well. Anyway, all I can say is that what a bullied person needs more than anything is the support of friends and family. To know that they are liked and loved by others will help them get through the difficult patches. Bullies too should be reached out to. Often they have their own sad stories. Anyway, that's my story for what it is worth. As I look over what I have written it seems a bit scattered. I am sure I could write a novella about my experiences but I hope I was able to get a somewhat helpful story across.

To not end on such a serious note here are a few pictures of little dude. I hope he never becomes part of a bullying scenario but if he does I will be there for him.

Hanging at the park:

Do you mind if I have a sip of your coffee mama?

Backyard fun:

Would you like some rocks?

Are there people still reading our blog?

2010-09-16T12:47:00.001-07:00

I am taking a cue from another adoptive mom's blog by asking if there is anybody out there still reading our blog. I would love to get some comments to reassure me that my comments and pictures are not floating forgotten in cyberspace. All of us of course need to know that there are voyeurs out there enjoying our musings. Of course Van would also like to know that his celebrity was not a brief flicker but still burns strong. I look forward to plethora of comments to come ;) Also feel free to describe yourself if you are someone I don't know personally (or even if I do know you).

M :)

Play-date fun

2010-09-11T13:33:00.000-07:00

One of the joys of being a parent is the opportunity to hang out with other parents and their kids. We try to do this as much as possible as it gives us an opportunity to hang with other adults who know what it's like to be a parent, and Van really seems to enjoy the hustle and bustle associated with other small children being present. We especially love our play-dates with other families who have adopted from Vietnam. It is nice that Van will be able to grow up with other children who have similar backgrounds and experiences as him.

Hanging with Hudson at Hudson's 1st birthday party:

With Laura and out of town visitor Alexander. Van: "Hmmm what are they doing and why is daddy taking a picture of them?"

"I know, if I walk in front of them daddy will take my picture instead"

On Saturday we went to our neighbourhood park with our friend Brodie and her little guy Sam. We hadn't seen them in awhile so it was great to have the boys spend some quality time together although Van is still in parallel play mode.

Sam trying to run off with Van's stroller:

Van enjoying the space to run:

"I want to get in"..."No I want to get in":

Sam: "Come on Chibi! Play with the ball", Van: "If you ask nicely she may even agree to lick the inside of your mouth and clean up any cookie crumbs that may be lurking". (parent's note, we attempt to stop this whenever we can lol. But Van really enjoys it, yikes!):

Enjoying all that a park has to offer:

Update on stuff and the return of our adoption video

2010-09-01T12:57:00.000-07:00

Is there anybody left still reading our blog? lol. I hope so. There may be the occasional lapse in blogging but I intend to continue musing about our lives as a family of three so don't abandon us yet :)

A fair amount has happened since the last blog entry. Van and Pat went to Nova Scotia for 10 days to visit with Pat's family in Cape Breton and my mom and friends in Halifax. Van did very well and of course everybody was very excited to meet him. Pat also did extremely well as, in essence, a single father. I missed them of course but made sure to enjoy my time alone. It won't happen again for a very long time! Here are a few pictures of Van the celebrity on his rounds through NS.

Meeting his grandmother Lewis at the Sydney airport:

With his Aunt Michelle:

With Aunt Joan:

With Uncle Glen:

With his cousins:

At the ocean for the first time:

With my best bud Charlotte:

With Ba (my mom Mel) O'Toole and grandpa Mick ;)

Perhaps you are wondering about his development? Well he is walking...well, running basically. Still a bit drunken sailorish but falls are becoming more and more rare. We have decided to start introducing a bowl and spoon to him so he can practice. He is very keen and focuses on trying to master the use of the spoon. I let him bang around for a bit then take the spoon show him how to scoop up the food then give him the spoon back with the food on it so he can put it in his own mouth. He really enjoys it. It is really neat to see him recognize the spoon and bowl as functional as opposed to just a toy to be chewed on or thrown on the floor as he would have a couple of months ago. It is fascinating to watch him develop, it really is. Here is a pic of him "practicing".

He is still babbling like a maniac. He can say mama, dada and ya although I am not sure he understands the meaning. His babbling is definitely more complex these days and he will have whole conversations with us. I am sure he expects that we understand. We do nod our heads and talk back which seems to satisfy him lol. Here is a video of him in full babble mode. I call it ode to broccoli. I think he's explaining to us the reasons why he doesn't like it.

Ode to broccoli from Patrick Lewis on Vimeo.

In other news, little dude has started daycare. We took him a few times last week to introduce him to the other children and experience the morning routine. Then this week we had a couple of partial practice run days. To our surprise he adjusted very quickly and has been full time since yesterday. It is an amazing home daycare with 3 other children. It is structured and the woman who runs it is an early childhood educator so it is the best combination between the intimacy of home daycare and the structure of a larger daycare with a curriculum. We think it's the perfect fit for Van and so far he is fitting in perfectly. I have a little sadness about this as there is a small part of me who wishes he was upset about being away from us. However I know it is in his best interests that his adjustment is smooth.

And, he has had another haircut. This time at a better place. His hairdresser was very nice and fussed over him (as it should be). We asked for a shorter cut because we really can't afford haircuts every month lol and his hair grows so fast! Here is a before and after.

We finally found a site to upload our adoption video that also allows us to embed it into the blog. Here it is!

Bringing Home Our Little Water Buffalo from Patrick Lewis on Vimeo.

My first long separation

2010-08-05T12:17:00.000-07:00

Pat and Van are leaving tomorrow to go to Nova Scotia for 10 days to visit Pat's family. I'm staying behind :( We couldn't secure babysitting for our dog Chibi for the entire time and are not comfortable (and frankly can't afford) leaving her at a kennel for some or all of the time. It was a very tough decision to not go. I had in fact booked a ticket to go and left it until just now to cancel. I am going to miss my boys like crazy! I am happy that Pat's family will get a chance to spend time with Van and get to know him. It will be nice for him to finally meet his other grandmother :)

Van is now 12 and 1/2 months. I am sure those that don't know him are wondering what he is up to these days. Well he's pretty much walking all of the time now (or should I say toddling lol). Check out this video (sorry about it being sideways. Pat forgot to save the corrected version and it took too long to upload to go through it all again):

Sam and Woody gave us the outfit as a twin hand me down. We decided to put him in it now as we weren't sure whether he will still fit into it when it gets cold and it is simply to cute to not try on!

He is still babbling like crazy but there are still no discernible words, although I am sure he is saying mama...if I listen hard enough. All and all he is enjoying his life as a newly minted toddler. Getting into things, falling...ergo injuring...and generally keeping mom and dad (and the animals) on their toes. Here are some other random pics for your enjoyment.

Fighting with Max and Vanh over the water table in our backyard:

Getting him used to his Leafs jersey. Can't start the allegiances too early ;) :

Before I finish this post I would like to share something very special. Pat finished Van's adoption video. He has been working on it for the past 2 months and it is incredible if I do say so myself. The link is below. You can copy and paste into a new window I think (hope it works. Youtube wouldn't allow the music so it has only worked uploaded on Facebook). Please enjoy and try not to cry like a baby (like I do every time I see it).

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=458636295852

The birthday weekend/week

2010-07-16T20:40:00.001-07:00

Last weekend was full full full! Friday was little guy's first official haircut. Here is a before and after shot:

Then Saturday it was off to pick up my mother for a 4 day visit. We've decided to teach Van to call her Ba (there should be an accent but my keyboard can't add it) which is Grandmother in Vietnamese. This was my mom's first time meeting him and she was thrilled. Here is a nice pic of Ba O'Toole and Van:

After picking up my mom we made our way to an adoptive family gathering in Greely. It was great to finally meet some of the families I have gotten to know through blogging:

Then we headed back home to host a bbq for Pat's 40th and Van's 1st. I decided to bake a cake for Van and settled on a carrot cake recipe that uses apple sauce instead of sugar (I figured he's energetic enough as it is). Frankly I'm not much of a baker (Martha Stewart I am not...far from it) so it was all uncharted territory for me. It was not pretty by any means but it tasted pretty good if I do say so myself. Van seemed to like it too. He better have as I sliced open my finger trying to slice the carrots lol. Anyway, here are a few pics of the evening:

He just couldn't blow the candles out himself...go figure.

Starting to dig in.

Sharing with Auntie Mo.

All over the face as it should be!

Then the next day we headed over to Sam and Woody's for the twin's turning two birthday bash. Once again we got to spend time with some families we have known for awhile but had never met. Unfortunately Van slept through most of it. We had fun though :)

Backyard fun.

Hanging out in the pool.

The twins waiting to dig into their cakes.

Van is finally awake...well kind of...

Wednesday was Van's actual birthday so we had to let him open some gifts (from us and his many admirers) and enjoy his new presents on that day too.

We decided to put on his traditional outfit for a bit. Until it became apparent that the material was too slippery for proper present enjoying fun. A truck from Auntie Mo and Uncle Rob.

A ball tent from us. Fun fun.

The Alphabet Train from Aunt Joan, Uncle Glen and cousins Maura and Natalie. He really loves this toy. Kept him entertained for almost half an hour the other day!

Unwrapping it with Chibi dog looking on.

Playing with it.

Note the concentration.

Then to top off our week, yesterday the Stanley Cup was in our neighbourhood so we just had to go see it. Ben Eager (formerly of the Hawks but recently traded to the Thrashers) grew up down the street so he brought the Cup. When we got there the lineup was crazy so we snuck around the back and took some surreptitious pictures of Eager with the Cup from behind.

Pat got a sneaky shot with Van lol (who does not look too impressed. "Stanley Cup? What's that?". Oh you will know all about it little man, all about it :) ).

And that was our weekend/week. Van is now 1 year old. He is babbling like a crazy man but no recognizable words yet (maybe some Vietnamese words, hard to tell lol). He takes numerous steps a day, the most was 6 at one time, but has not started walking yet. He still sleeps well through the night, sometimes fights daytime naps, likes to feed himself some days but needs to be spoon fed others, and changes his food likes to dislikes and visa versa daily. He has 6 teeth now, 4 upper and 2 lower, and appears to be showing "teething" signs often. He is very active, particularly when he is tired and can't sit still for a minute. He is, I would say, a pretty average one year old. We are still getting to know him everyday and him us. It has been quite a journey so far I must say. I wonder what he'll be like when he's 2...

Tired all the time

2010-07-15T17:03:00.001-07:00

No not me...well maybe lol. Little bum is tired all the time these days. He wakes up tired and shows tired signs throughout the day. Anybody else experiencing the same thing with their youngsters? He was teething last week but we can't see anything this week. Could be the heat. We had him in for his first adoption clinic visit at CHEO on Tuesday which went well. We asked about the recent tired all the time issue and the Dr. thought it was due to adjustment....hmmmm, that seems like the automatic response to any questions we have about our little man's health. In any event, we have to return next week so they can take his blood and do some standard tests. I think daddy is going to have to be with him during the needle part because I will be too upset if little guy gets upset and I've heard it is quite an ordeal as they have to take a lot of blood. Yikes! Anyway, maybe the tests will show an iron deficiency or something that may explain things.

This weekend is going to be a fun but exhausting one for him. My mother arrives Saturday then we will be driving to a home just outside Ottawa for an adoptive family gathering. Then we have a Pat and Van birthday BBQ Sat night and a joint birthday party Sunday afternoon with the Samantha and Woody's twins who are 2 years old on the 19th (Van is 1 on the 21st). Other adoptive families will be there too, yay. I will be sure to take lots of pics! We actually just bought a new and better camera today so are looking forward to testing it out!

Oh and tomorrow is his first official haircut so there will be new camera testing then as well!

In the meantime, here are a few summer pics:

Into the flower pot! (taken with my IPhone so not the greatest quality):

Testing, tasting and not really liking a popsicle (a little problem with the brain freeze):

New referral news

2010-07-10T12:00:00.000-07:00

It is such a special time in our community when someone gets a referral. It brings back all those emotions that we had when we first saw our referral pictures. It is a moment of pure elation. You spend hours looking at the pictures and memorize every aspect of your child's face. I've decided in honour of our fellow adoptive friend Francesca's referral of a beautiful baby boy I am going to post a few of the pictures we got of our little man during the long months of waiting. The pictures I was not allowed to post on the blog before and now I can because he's officially our son now (has been for almost 2 months!)!

Our first look at him (3 days old!):

One of the pictures that came with his medical. Happy boy (2 1/2 months old):

A precious picture sent by a Danish family on a homeland visit with their child. Note his wonderful nanny (2 1/2 months old):

Picture of him with a sweater we sent over for him taken by our agency. He is with his wonderful nanny again. Note his hair has obviously been cut (6 months old):

Picture taken by another family who was there adopting their daughter. He is with the little stuffed toy we sent over (6 months):

He's finally our son! The G&R (10 months old):

Home finally (one month) and hanging out at Starbucks (11 1/2 months old):

The good the bad and the not so ugly

2010-07-07T19:18:00.000-07:00

Well week 4 back home and quite a difference. Things have been improving steadily and we are feeling much better. I want to send huge thanks out to all the people who came forward with support and stories of their own. You have all been so very very helpful!!! I can't even begin to explain how helpful. Better than any type of counseling. Sometimes we think we are alone with our thoughts and experiences only to find out we are not. Much of the support and stories came from within the adoption community but some came from outside. I had many funny heart to hearts with birth parents who expressed many of the same feelings. But of course it is the adoption community who gathered around so tightly. I cannot thank you enough. We have met so many wonderful people and we can't wait to get to know everybody even more than we already do and to see our children grow up together!!

So I have some pictures and a little humour to give my loyal and kind blog readers some insight into our day to day:

The good:

Losing my job. Yep I said it. I would not have had the opportunity to spend so much time bonding with Van if I had of still been working!

Van. Obviously.

Van's smile and laugh. Melts my heart, even when it involves something mischievous like chewing on our dog Chibi's gross, dirty tennis ball.

Hanging out with my great hubby Pat everyday and seeing him grow as a dad. Priceless!

Playdates with wonderful people, especially those who don't mind that us showing up every other day (you know who you are).

The bad:

Losing my job. Purely for financial reasons but the good outweighs the bad!

The weather!! The Hanoi weather followed is here. Hot hot weather makes for a sticky, sweaty and cranky baby who won't eat lol.

Poopy diapers! WTF, how can such a small human crap so much. Actually I leave many of them for daddy ;)

The not so ugly:

Van is a very cute kid! I may be biased but there is nothing ugly about this child!

Here are some pics of playdates and hanging out:

Hanging with the twins, well one twin and I think it is Vanh...or is it Max...

Brunch with Cam, Tracey and their daughter Laura and new son Jeremie

At the water park (thanks for the pic Sam!)

Windy on Sparks Street

Hanging with Hudson

Unexpected Growing Pains

2010-06-27T16:09:00.001-07:00

Well I debated whether to write this post, but after much thought I decided it would be cathartic for me and perhaps help others who have, are or will go through what I am going through. I ask that people please refrain from sending judgmental and negative comments (I will be moderating all comments from now on). Comments that begin with "I know how you feel..." or "I was there myself...." are more than welcome!!

I think I have post adoption depression. There, I said it. It started coming on in Vietnam and has grown worse since being back in Canada. I think Samantha posted this link but here it is and I suggest friends and family members that read my blog, read this article http://www.adoptionarticlesdirectory.com/Article/Post-Adoption-Depression---The-Unacknowledged-Hazzard/53. It will allow those who care about us understand what we, mainly me, is going through. Apparently up to 70% of adoptive parents feel some form of PAD (I know, it an unfortunate acronym).

It can be brought on by many factors. The adoption itself is a roller coaster of emotions that come to a head at the point of the adoption and then suddenly fall. Kind of like an anti-climax as it were. You've waited for this moment for years. You and all your family members have expectations that are sometimes to the point of being pure fantasy. Very few little tykes can live up to the fantasy. Another reason is that you go from having a settled and happy life to suddenly being thrown into a situation of chaos. If you happen to have been matched to a little one that has higher needs than average or a more high maintenance personality the problems can be compounded. You are essentially thrown into parenthood with, in many cases, little knowledge of what to expect. It can be very overwhelming even though you have been planning for it for years. On top of all that you feel this incredible, overwhelming guilt that you are not the "happiest person alive" as everyone expects you to be. I can't tell you how many people say to me "You must be so gloriously happy!!" and I smile and say 'Uh huh" even though inside I am not happy. Not at all. I feel so guilty about this. Because I think "Yes, I should be happy! All my dreams have come true. I finally have what I have yearned for, for so long. What is wrong with me!!".

The truth is I am struggling right now. I wonder if I will ever like this little person never mind love and attach to him. He is not to blame here at all. However, his personality has assuredly made this process more difficult and perhaps has aggravated the PAD that I may or may not have developed even if he had an easy transition. But unfortunately this process has not been easy for him either. He is unhappy about 80% of the time. His unhappiness manifests itself in almost constant whining. He'll whine to be picked up than squirm and whine until you put him down and the whole cycle starts again. I have to believe that this would be hard on any parent to deal with day in and day out but perhaps it is just us that finds this behaviour so challenging and difficult. We have found solace in out of home play dates that seem to make him happy. On Saturday we had a full day of general happiness. We were thrilled. Then today was the worse he has been. Other than about 40 minutes when our friends came over with their little girl, he whined the entire time. Our bliss of the day before crashed as we struggled to understand his behaviour. He's been to the doctor and is completely healthy. We have little explanation other than the tried and true adoption fall back of he's still adjusting. Which very well could be likely. However it does not make it any easier to deal with, on a daily almost constant basis. Especially as we know he has the capability of being happy for a full day.

Having said all this I only bring up his behaviour in the context of why perhaps PAD has hit me so hard. I am not blaming him at all for his behaviour or my reaction to it. He is after all just a wee child. Having no history of depression I am not even sure how to deal with this or how to make things better. I have made an appointment for Wednesday to speak with a professional in the hopes that they can help me find the tools to get through this and whatever the future holds for us. I am so very grateful for my amazing, rock solid husband who, although struggling a bit himself, has been a stabilizing force in our little family.

As I said at the beginning of this post, it took me a long time to get up the courage to admit all of this in a public forum. However I felt that it may help people we know appreciate what is happening and hopefully help others who will, are or have gone through this. I really think a support group would be fantastic. If anybody is interested let me know in a comment.

I will fight hard to become the mother that Van deserves!

Life in the orphanage

2010-06-19T10:37:00.000-07:00

I decided it was time to post some pictures of life at Hoa Binh orphanage before it becomes a distant memory lol. It was a great orphanage and anybody who is referred a child from there is lucky indeed. The children get a ton of attention. Between the nannies and the older children the babies are constantly being attended to. They do not cry for long before someone picks them up. Note the three little girls in some of the pics. Two of them became very attached to us. They would have come with us if we had let them lol. The littlest one was 2 believe it or not. She was tiny! Van was almost as big as her. The other girls were 3 and one of them loved us! Particularly Pat. One day when we were leaving she grabbed onto my hand and followed us to the taxi. She wasn't going to let go! Many of the babies have been referred to families in France and Canada. The older children are either there temporarily while their families get on their feet or were rescued victims of attempted trafficking so will not be up for international adoption. Anyway, here are some pics of life inside and outside Hoa Binh:

Back home and settling into life as a family of 3

2010-06-15T12:43:00.000-07:00

Hi all. I know I have been a negligent blogger but I was not in a blogging frame of mind in Vietnam. Things are starting to work themselves out here and jet lag is becoming less every day so I thought I would start up the old blog again and move from the realm of adoption journey to one of parenting.

First a brief summary of our time in Vietnam with Van. It was a very difficult time for all of us. He was very unhappy most of the time which of course made us unhappy most of the time as well. Patience was wearing pretty thin by the end of our time there. I am not inclined to talk about it in this blog as I want the blog to be a place of happiness and general positive energy. If any waiting parents would like to talk to me about our experiences and how we got through them without going insane lol please feel free to contact me by email. I know I could have used, and in fact did use, the advice and support of parents who had gone before and had difficulties as well. Sufficed to say it is not always a skip through the daisies although some families and their children have a much easier time than others.

So, given our tumultuous two weeks with Van, we were dreading the trip back and thought it would be 24 hours of crying, screaming and whining. Strangely our little man morphed once again into another personality and was an absolute star. who would have thought! Perhaps he knew that he wasn't going to get rid of us after all. He actually slept for 8 hours in the bassinet on the 15 flight from Hong Kong. He was generally pretty laid back and happy. We stayed the night in Toronto as we wouldn't have been able to get a flight to Ottawa until midnight so we arrived back in Ottawa on Saturday morning to a group of friends and other adoptive families waiting for us. It was great to see everybody and to be home.

So far he is adjusting pretty well considering the horrible jet lag we are all experiencing. I unfortunately had to go back to work yesterday so feel a little disconnected from my little family right now. I am pretty sure Pat is getting tired of my numerous phone calls home. I have also been sleeping at a friends place while I get over the jet lag due to having to work so have not been able to be a part of the bedtime or morning rituals. Hopefully I'll be back home soon!

That is my update for now. I will hopefully post some pictures tonight or tomorrow night and will continue blogging about our parenting adventures. Let the real journey begin!!

Sorry for the delay

2010-06-05T00:06:00.000-07:00

I had every intention of trying to update the blog regularly but life doesn't always work out as you would like it to. We've had a few struggles over here with our little guy. His transition has not been smooth but very few people get through the first weeks without some difficulty. There is a saying in adoption, you hope for the best, expect the worst and it is usually somewhere in between. I would say we are in the middle somewhere. Every child is different in their reactions to the trauma of being uprooted from everything they've ever known. We have met two Canadian families here that adopted through another Ottawa agency. One of the mom's little 10 month old girl has sleep issues and apparently screamed for the first week. The other family's 1 year old little guy didn't eat for the first couple of weeks. Our little guy's issue is grief and anger. He sleeps and eats no problem but has had a lot of difficulty during his waking hours. I am not going to sugar coat it, there have been times of extreme sadness and frustration on our part. But you begin to cherish the little things. An hour of happy play becomes a wonderful success. Part of the problem was that he had an ear infection and fever. On top of that the poor guy is teething. That would drive any 10 month old crazy. Add in grieving the loss of his cherished nanny and everything he's ever know and you begin to wonder if we have damaged the poor little guy for life. We have been so lucky to have the two other families here. One of the families are adoption experts. Although they were here adopting their first child, the father is himself an adult adoptee from Vietnam. He and his wife are both experts in the field and have been a great support to us. He left with their two older girls yesterday to go back to work but his wife has been kind enough to take the time to listen to me have mini rants and panics about our inability to make Van happy. She has been so wonderful and gave me so much encouragment and strength. she talked about her own struggles and coming from an adoption counselor this was a big confidence builder. I have shared all the emotional tools she has given with Pat and we have faced the past 2 days with a renewed sense of optimism and strength. Sadly her and our other new friend the single mom and her little one are leaving tomorrow and Tuesday. We went for dinner with them tonight and will of course stay in touch with them :)

About Van, Yesterday morning was good for us. After his morning nap he seemed actually happy and relaxed. We got out of the apartment for the first time in 2 days with him and he was great. We walked around the Old Quarter to do some shopping and actually were able to sit in Highland's Cafe for 45 minutes. We've decided it's probably best to get out as much as possible because feeling shack wacky in a hotel room is not the best way to foster good vibes. The afternoon and evening was a struggle as well as this morning and afternoon. But this evening was good again and we actually got some laughs out of him. It is a very slow process but we finally feel like we might see a light at the end of the tunnel. We have a ways to go yet and it won't be easy but it will be worth it when he finally relaxes and is a normal, happy little 10 1/2 month old.

Anyway, we managed a few pics of him being happy over the past week but I can't upload with wifi as it is too slow. Perhaps I'll get a chance tomorrow on the hotel computers.

We are a family!

2010-05-31T18:17:00.000-07:00

We had our G&R yesterday and are officially a family!! We can't believe it has finally happened after all this time! After the ceremony we drove back to Hanoi and settled into our room for the night. He fell asleep at 9:30 and didn't wake up until 6! Wow!! When he did wake he just sat up and played in his crib. We are knocking a ton of wood right now because we are not sure if this is just his personality or if he is still in a bit of shock lol. But we'll take it! he is a remarkably easy going little guy and has not cried at all except a bit of whining when he was tired. We're still waiting for the meltdown. I think it definitely helped his transition that we spent time with us last week as he knew us when we arrived yesterday. It was very sad leaving the orphanage as the his main nounou Tho was very upset to see him leave. She cried as did we. She has been wonderful to us and him. The ceremony was short but quite nice. They apologized for the long wait we've had and told us that once the papers were signed yesterday morning they rushed the ceremony for later that day. they were so nice. Anyway, without further ado here is our son! Well, first there are pics of the drive, then the orphanage, then the G&R then hanging out in our room. We are moving today from the Medallion to the Somerset Grand...yay, an apartment with a pool!! Here are some pics:)...ok, apparently in no particular order lol. I thought they uploaded in order. In any event, enjoy!

G&R today!!! Fnally, the last piece of the puzzle...

2010-05-30T19:55:00.000-07:00

Heading to Hoa Binh...again. We are having our G&R today wooohoooo!!! Finally! We are traveling back at 12:30 today and having the ceremony at 4:30. We'll be posting pics of our little man soon!!

Food glorious food

2010-05-30T06:19:00.000-07:00

Well there is really not much to report. We are still in Hanoi with no word when the G&R will be. The agency rep said she will call us tomorrow (Monday) and let us know what she has heard. She still hopes we'll have the ceremony tomorrow afternoon. I doubt it somehow though. I am hoping that it will at least be Tuesday. Meanwhile we've been wandering the streets of Hanoi shopping and poking around various market areas. It is hot as hell and as a result we need to take frequent stops in cafes, which I'm not complaining about! Just as an example as to how hot it is, today it was 31...not too bad right? But with 85% humidity it officially "felt like" 46. That kind of weather makes Meg a sweaty and miserable beast. But thankfully there are plenty of cafes to stop in and enjoy a yummy Vietnamese coffee, cold with sweetened condensed milk...trust me it's good! We've also been doing a lot of good eating so this blog will contain pics of some of our favourite meals plus a few extra pics of Hanoi, enjoy:

One of our favourite restaurants, The Ladybird, an dishes we have had there:

Shrimp pate on sugarcane:

Sweet sour chicken curry, eggplant is pepper sauce and stir fried veggies and pork on noodles:

View from the upper deck of the Ladybird:

Thai glass noodle salad at the Tamarind Cafe (next few from there as well):

Ratatofu:

Deep fried mushrooms (very good):

69 Bar (no they do not know the connotation lol):

Mixed spring rolls:

Bun Cha:

Chicken 69 with 6 spices:

Yummy Vietnamese coffee (hot this time):

A little cafe we stumbled across:

Some other Hanoi scenes:

Back in Hanoi and still waiting for G&R

2010-05-28T04:17:00.000-07:00

We decided to come back to Hanoi for the weekend. As much as it was wonderful to spend our days at the orphanage with Van, it was difficult for the nounous and their routine. We decided it would be better to get out of their hair for a few days. It was sad to leave Hoa Binh without Van. We really hope the G&R will be Monday! Either way it looks like we'll be in Vietnam for awhile yet. We are not sure what we will do for the weekend, probably just hang out here. We were thinking of Halong Bay but it seems a bit rushed. However if the G&R is not until later in the week we may consider it. Here are a few pics of Hoa Binh and the orphanage...minus Van of course as we can't post pics of him yet.

The countryside on the drive there:

Lunch!:

Anybody in the mood for some deef fried salted pig thing?

The entrance sign:

The road down:

The greeting room at the orphanage:

One of the canine greeters. He was pretty manky:

Laundry drying in the sun. Lots of laundry for lots of little ones:

More laundry drying on the back side of Van's baby room:

Younger girls folding laundry:

Surrounding countryside:

Sorry Pat but another man has stolen my heart!!

2010-05-26T19:33:00.000-07:00

Day 3 in Hoa Binh. What a journey! We spent all day yesterday at the orphanage. What a gift to see the inside workings. Anybody that has been referred a child from Hoa Bing is lucky indeed! The nannies are amazing. Not to brag, and perhaps we're biased, but Van's nanny is the most amazing! She loves him like crazy and he is wonderfully spoiled :) All the children are treated so well. The ratio seems to be about 3-1. The orphanage is clean and quite big. There are a lot of older children who help with the little ones. There are some really wee babies there. During a break from loving my little Van I was loving on a little guy who couldn't be more than a week old. Everything runs very efficiently and the babies are not left long if they are crying. There is a really funny older blind lady who alos helpwith the little ones. Yesterday she was throwing a dirty towel towards the basket and she hit Pat, well she got the biggest kick out of that. All the nannies laughed. Everybody is so nice there and we are so very lucky to get such a bird's eye view.

So I know everybody would like some info about our little guy. He is pretty easy going. He loeves to be carried around so he can see the sights up high lol. He is a love bug and has taken to us quite well. Especially me. He reached for me no problem. He of course loves his nounou most of all which is totally understandable but he also seems to really like us too so we can't ask for anything more. He was shy at first but once he realized we weren't so bad he figured he would take the extra attention no problem. He is a charmer that's for sure. All the nounous can't pass by him without a smile or a word and it doesn't take much to get him to grin and laugh. He crawls like a bat outta hell and you have to really watch him. He stands in his crib and cruises around inside but does not seem too interested in walking yet. He's a bit bow legged lol and we realized that's because he loves to be carried and gets carried a lot. When he was born he weighed 4.5 pounds and the nounous indicated that he was as skinny as my arm. Now he is 19 pounds which is amazing considering his birth weight! They are all amazed at how well he has done and think he's a big boy now which I guess he is. He has a crazy amount hair and it all sticks up into a bit of a mohawk that makes everybody chuckle. His 6 month pics clearly showed him with a haircut. He'll be getting and another one of those when we get home :) He has 4 teeth, 2 on the bottem and 2 on the top but not through a whole lot. I am in love!!! Pat is loving the daddy bit too and we fight over the opportunity to carry him. Although frankly my carrying cannot be too long because I sweat so much that he gets all sweaty too. It is hot as hell here lol. Very very humid!!

SOn another note we are kind of stuck here. Have no idea when the G&R will be. We are now trying to decide what to do for the weekend. As much as we love going to the orphange, it is hard on the nounous and their routine for us to be hanging around there all day everyday. We have decided that if the ceremony is next week we will either go on a hill tribe trek this weekend or go back to Hanoi. We don't want to leave Van but we can't stay here that whole time. Hoa Binh itself is not very interesting and the hotel is a bit noisy so it's not very relaxing. They are all very nice though.

So that's our update for now. I will update again once we know our plans.

Hello from Hoa Binh!

2010-05-25T07:03:00.000-07:00

We are here!! We left Hanoi at 10ish and arrived in Hoa Binh at 12:30ish. Had lunch at the restaurant near our hotel then headed to the orphanage. What can I say...he's amazing, glorious, beautiful, funny...I could go on and on. We spent 3 hours with him (and the other babies). It was such an incredible experience. Sadly we had to leave him to head back to our hotel at 5. we'll be spending everyday at the orphange between 9 and 5 until our G&R ceremony, which has not yet been set. We are still hoping for Friday but not sure. The internet connection at the hotel here is a bit odd so not sure how frequent our updates will be but I will try to give one everyday. No pics though as we cannot post any pics until he is officially our son...also this computer sucks lol.

Rest assured we are great and happy and he is wonderful.

Meg and Pat

Hanoi day 1

2010-05-24T07:18:00.000-07:00

We had a very exhausting day in Hanoi. I forgot how completely frenetic this place can be. Actually I think it is even more so than when I was here 9 years ago (yes 9, thought it was 8...where does the time go!). We started our day with a hearty breaky then we headed out into the Old Quarter armed with our Lonely Planet. There was a handy little map with the walking route. We figured we would try and follow that at least some of the walk, with a detour to the "computer street" to try and find a converter for our electronics (our converter does not seem to work). The first 4 hours of our walk was very fun and interesting. We checked out Lake Hoan Kiem, stopped for coffee at Highland Cafe, walked down silk street and many other streets selling various items. Then came our detour to the "computer street" which didn't have computers at all, only hardware stores. Nobody seemed to have what we were looking for. The street was chaotic with cars and motorbikes speeding by and no room to walk on the sidewalks. Of course this is not new, this is in fact par for the course with respect to the Old Quarter. But by this point we were exhausted and beyond hot (humidity here is pretty brutal). On top of that we got caught up briefly in a police chase lol. We are walking along when suddenly a couple of police vans pull up and 6 or 7 police guys jump out and run into one of the stores. We literally had to jump out of the way. Anyway, our detour was a bit longer than anticipated and by the time we made our way back to our hotel's neighbourhood, we were in full sensory overload. Now for me to get a sensory overload is pretty major. I've done quite a bit of traveling and been in many similar environments including Hanoi before. For some reason though we hit our ceiling and ended up in a zombified state simply trying to get back to our hotel. It made crossing Hanoi Old Quarter streets quite a challenge. Anyway, it is quite a place. We ended our evening sitting on a small patio above one of the small streets eating good, cheap food and drinking beer while watching the young Hanoians cruising on their motorbikes and the shop keepers hawking their wares.

Tomorrow we are off to Hoa Binh for a few days. We are not sure what the internet connection will be like so we may be incommunicado for a few days. The next post we make will be after us having finally met our little man!! We are coming Van!

Here are a few pics of Hanoi to tide you over:

We have made it to Hanoi!!

2010-05-23T07:38:00.000-07:00

Hello from Hanoi! It took us awhile and there were a couple of bumps (not just from turbulance) but we're here. So here is a breakdown of our adventure so far:

The flight to Toronto was fine albeit really bleeping early! In Toronto we had a couple of hours to kill so we had a snack and wandered around. Then was the flight to Hong Kong. Very very long (I keep forgetting how long the Canada to Asia flights are!). It was pretty smooth except of course for when we were flying over Japan, then things got a little rocky. Anybody who has flown over Japan knows that the air currents are very unpredictable and often cause moderate to occassionaly severe turbulance. We experienced some high moderate. Enough to make me feel a little green lol. The it was fine. 15 hours and we finally landed in Hong Kong. We dragged our sore and exausted bodies around Hong Kong airport for the 4 hours between flights. Then we proceeded to gate 22. Around 10 minutes before the boarding time we're told it is at another gate. Everybody piles onto an airport bus and we get taken to the new gate. Once there we quickly realized there was no plane yet so it was apparent that we'd be waiting awhile. so all of us, including the pilots and flight crew, hung around waiting for the plane. It finally arrived about 20 minutes after the time it was meant to take off. But the best was yet to come...when we made it to the desk to go through to the plane we were promptley told that we were not on the list for the flight but becuase we had boarding passes we could get on but we would get no meal and our luggage would stay in Hong Kong...say what??? Apparently the Cathay Pacific person in Toronto erased us from the Hanoi flight by accident. So then this dude is getting impatiient and saying it is Air Canada's problem and we had to make up our minds right away if we wanted to go as the plane doors were about to shut. What about our bags we asked politely?? No guarantee they will be sent after and anyway not his problem. So we politely (lol) reminded him that in fact it was Cathay Pacific not Air Canada that messed up so it was his problem and no we would not get on a flight without knowing if we see our luggage again! so the plane left and we were trundled off to the Cathay Pacific service desk. Pat was expecting a fight but once they realized it was their fault they booked us on the the next night's flight and gave us a voucher for the airport hotel and meals.

So the next stage of our adventure was an unplanned night and day in Hong Kong. Oh well, we decided to make the best of it. actually the night was a complete write off. After no sleep for 30 hours it took all the remaining energy we had to get ourselves to the hotel room, shower and pass out...and I mean pass out!! after about 10 hours of sleeping like the dead we got up, had breaky and went into the city to explore (I will add pics in a bit). Hong Kong is pretty cool. Very hilly with lots of little alley ways and streets to explore. We unfortunately did not have enough time to really see a whole lot but we spent about 5 hours wandering around. Then it was back to the airport to see if our next try to make it to Hanoi would be successful...it was as we are here!

We were picked up from the airport by the agency rep and her family and driven in to Hanoi to the first hotel where we will be staying. we will staying at 3 hotels during our stay lol. The first is right in the old quarter of Hanoi and we will be here for 2 nights. It will give us a chance to explore the city and be right in the thick of things (I can hear all the honking as I type). Then Tuesday we head to Hoa Binh province where we will likely stay until Friday which is when the G&R will probably take place. Up until friday we will spend the days in the orphanage with Van and then go back to our hotel at night. we'll do this until the G&R then we will take Van back to Hanoi with us. We are quite excited by the prospect of being able to hang out at the orphanage with the nannies and other children (and Van too of course!!). It will give us a chance to see how he has spent the first 10 months of his like. something precious we'll be able to share with him. It will also give him time to get used to us and hopefully make his transition a little easier.

Anyway, that's all for now. I am going to have a quick snack then early to bed. Get a good start on exploring Hanoi tomorrow!!

We will post Hong Kong Pics a bit later :)

Meg

Here are a couple of our Hong Kong pics:

Leaving in less than 12 hours!!

2010-05-20T16:24:00.000-07:00

Well our trip is upon us!! Crazy days! We have a taxi picking us up at 4:30am tomorrow (ugh). The latest is that our agency rep in Vietnam thinks our G&R will be at the end of next week. We are hoping that we'll be able to at least visit him in the orphanage. It seems we will in all likelihood be in Vietnam for 3 weeks minimum.

Packing is done, pets are taken care of...all we have to do is try and get a few hours sleep...

My next blog will probably be from Hong Kong...possibly Hanoi.

We're coming little man!

3 more sleeps!

2010-05-18T09:05:00.001-07:00

I say 3 more sleeps but chances are there will be little sleeping on Thursday night so perhaps it is better to say 2 more sleeps :) We leave Ottawa Friday morning at 6am and arrive in Hanoi at 6pm local time Saturday evening. So gate to gate it will be 25 hours of travelling barring any unforeseen delays. We decided that to make our long haul flight more comfortable we would pay a little extra to get the emergency door seats with the extra leg room. The last time we flew Cathay Pacific we practically needed the jaws of life to extricate ourselves from the seats when we arrived in Hong Kong. So a little money goes a long way in this case, especially when you are tall like us!

We have a 2 hour stop in Toronto and a 4 hour stop in Hong Kong. Hong Kong airport is awesome and like a little city so I don't mind hanging out there for a few hours. The shopping opportunities are always a little tempting though. We still don't have a date for the G&R but we hope we'll still be able to get down to the orphanage to see him. So now we are in the last mad rush to make sure we have everything and that everything at home is taken care of. I think we're pretty much there other than gifts for the director of the orphanage and our agency rep. If anybody who has gone before has any suggestions please feel free to post :)

Date still holding

2010-05-14T08:20:00.000-07:00

Just a quick little blog because I feel like it :) The date of leaving May 21 is still holding. No word of a change yet. The flights have been booked. We leave Ottawa Friday morning at 6am (yikes!) to catch our connecting flight to Hong Kong at 9:30am. We arrive in Hong Kong at 1pm on Sat then leave for Hanoi about 4 hours later. We hope we'll be able to change the flight back, both because it means 3.5 weeks in Vietnam if not (we're hoping things will move a bit more quickly once there) and because it is a red eye flight that leaves Hong Kong at 2:30am and arrives in Toronto at 5:30 am lol.

So if all goes well and there are no changes, we'll be jetting towards our little man this time next Friday...woohoo!!!!

Tentative date

2010-05-11T16:31:00.001-07:00

Quick update - We have a tentative date to leave May 21 (next Friday). We haven't gotten confirmation yet so we are trying not to get too excited...ok, we have not been able to control our excitement unfortunately although are trying to! We sent off our passports yesterday so things seem to be happening. We truly never thought this day would come. When we have the tickets in our hands we will finally allow ourselves to believe that this is truly truly happening. We will continue to update as information rolls in :) Happy Tuesday everybody...and here's hoping the Nucks can win tonight (for the record we're Leafs fans but any Canadian team doing well is great these days!).

Happy mother's day indeed!!!!

2010-05-09T10:44:00.001-07:00

We got the email today!!!!! We can book our flights!! WOOOHOOOOOO!!!!! We can't believe it is finally happening. We just are in shock!! Of course until we're on the plane (and then until we have him in our arms) we won't fully relax but OMG this is the closest we've gotten and it looks like green lights all around. Thank you everybody for all your support and crossed appendages!! Apparently it worked. I will update with flight details when we get them.

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Update? Nope

2010-05-01T08:06:00.000-07:00

Hello faithful readers. I thought I would do a little post just so you don't think we've forgotten about you. Well the wait continues. No news since last Wednesday. We are still under the assumption that everything is still good and that we are simply waiting for the paperwork to make its way back to the province so we can get a date for our G&R. Happily the Stanley Cup playoffs are on to keep us distracted. We did hit a couple of stores last weekend to get larger clothing. There are a lot of pieces that are too small now. We've had to clean out the closet. Such is the life of waiting parents.

As always I hope my next update will contain news...good news of course...

Happy nine months little man

2010-04-21T19:03:00.000-07:00

Van is 9 months today. We hope we will be with him when he turns 10 months. Here's hoping we get the much anticipated, much desired, much thought about "call" in the next 2-3 weeks (or sooner!).

:)

Woohoo!!

2010-04-20T15:45:00.000-07:00

When I woke up this morning little did I know there would be a special little email waiting for me. It was our agency's director saying that the "extra" investigation is complete!! Everything looks good. She is hopeful that we will travel mid-May :) :) :) This could be later or earlier but her mid-range guess is May 17th. Just before he turns 10 months. But hey, if it's later so be it. We are just relieved we are back on track!

We couldn't be happier right now, honestly I can't even describe my emotions. I read the email on my iPhone on the way to the bus and promptly burst into tears! But this time they were happy tears...and tears of relief! Now of course the cautious person in me feels that I won't be truly and fully relieved of all my doubt until he is in my arms and the papers are signed. We've been through too much to fully "believe". But I am almost to the optimistic me that existed in February when I thought we'd leave any day.

So the nursery door has been cracked open again, the pictures are being lovingly looked at and our future imaginings once more involve a little guy named Van :)

Just when you think things will never get better they do....a tiny bit...

2010-04-15T11:40:00.000-07:00

Well, quick on the heals of my end of rope, frustrated mini-rant (which I removed as it was a little raw) I am now going to offer an update. We had thought our agency wasn't getting back to us but in fact an email had been sent last week but not received. A precious email, the latest causality of the occasional lost in cyberspace happening. The emails came fast and thick today. Which I am so thankful for because we were really beginning to feel so alone, lost and scared. The latest is....and it's not much but we'll take it...the feeling at our orphanage in Hoa Binh is that this is not a matter of if but when. From their point of view this will happen. Of course they are not the deciding authority but hey, I like their point of view. Now, if we had not experienced two failed referrals we would be sitting back with feet up just waiting for the call. But our past experiences preclude us from relaxing completely. However, it's a slim glimmer of hope and that is something we have not had for a good month or more! So now we wait...some more...

So again, please continue to keep everything crossed and lets hope that this really truly works out for us and we have our little man home...sooner rather than later...

Complications...

2010-04-02T13:24:00.000-07:00

Just to let everyone know I am not sure when I will be blogging again. It seems our journey has hit another, rather large, bump in the road. Some pretty serious complications have arisen with our attempts to adopt Van. We are not sure where this will all go but as of now we are hoping these complications will not become insurmountable. We are really hoping we are not facing another failed referral but only time will tell.

Please send warm thoughts our way and cross everything that can possibly be crossed i.e. toes, fingers, arms etc.!

Meg

Loving the iPhone...adoption a complete fantasy

2010-03-29T10:15:00.000-07:00

I am home sick from work today so might as well do a little update. I got my iPhone this weekend and love it!! It cost more than I anticipated because my current contract still had a year left but being a loyal customer they cut me a few deals to make it bearable. We'll see if they live by their word on the next bill lol. I love the phone though! Would recommend it for sure Francesca. This is how I keep my mind off of the bigger issues in life...a little bit of toy therapy :)

As far as the adoption goes...it doesn't really. It is a complete fantasy right now and I can't even picture it happening anymore. I have begun to make plans for events and gatherings without even thinking about the adoption as it is that far beyond my realm of comprehension right now. A friend is having a housewarming May 1st and both Pat and I accepted invitations on Facebook without hesitation...without even thinking about where we'll be or if we'll be parents by that time. We just assumed we will be still here in Ottawa and still childless. I'm not even willing the phone to ring or obsessively checking my email anymore. It's weird. I guess for me I just reached a point of utter despair then popped out the other side somewhat indifferent to the whole thing. It appears to be the only way for me to handle what is happening. I guess I'm tired of being mad, sad, frustrated and helpless. I've decided to live my life and if it happens wonderful and if it doesn't...well...I just won't think about that right now. What else can one do after being through 2 failed referrals and now waiting for 8 months since the 3rd referral with the last bit of news being "there are complications"? Might as well not think about it anymore and just try to enjoy life.

Now, back to my iPhone...it is so much fun!

Third time's a charm??....I really really hope so!!

2010-03-24T15:23:00.000-07:00

Well we got a bit of news today. There are a couple of complications with our file...dreaded words! However, we've been told that it shouldn't delay things more than a couple more weeks...we'll see. I just can't believe after everything we've been through that we are facing complications...again! Something else came out of this complicated factor that I cannot speak of yet but it is potentially big, confusing and life changing. So much thinking will have to happen now...maybe conversations with people...

At this point I just want to know that this is going to happen...is this going to happen?? Should we have put his name on the door? I am having trouble looking at pictures of him right now. I have trouble envisioning this happening.

Anyway, we will as always stay positive and assume everything will work out...

Happy 8 months

2010-03-21T13:23:00.001-07:00

8 months old! Wow! We thought we would have been with him to celebrate. Now my hope is that we will be united with him when he's 9 months although I'm not holding my breath that's for sure. This means we've been waiting to get him for 7 1/2 months...yikes!! Will this wait ever end??

So....what's happening in your life?

2010-03-20T12:15:00.001-07:00

Because nothing is happening in ours...other than work, and life in general I suppose. I've reached a point now where I have had to admit that things are not going to happen anytime soon. I have decided to try and train myself to not think we will get the call any day. It is not helpful for my emotional stability at this point. So I am making the decision to assume that this is not going to happen this month and I am now focusing on the hope that we will get over there in April or May. That is my hope now. My dream is to get him before he turns 9th months on April 21st but I think it is more likely that we will get him at close to 10 months. That's my gut feeling at this point.

I just hope it happens! The fear that there is something wrong and that the referral will fall through has been strong lately as much as I have tried to not let those thoughts enter my mind. I have begun to have difficulty talking about him because I am so scared that we will never meet him. The adoption has completely turned into a fantasy again. I can't even visualize it anymore. Anyway, it has been a tough week, no doubt about it.

On the upside (I have to always end a post with an upside) I am going to be getting an IPhone next week and I can't wait. I have finally completed 2 years on my latest contract and can now trade in for a new phone. Yay!

Still waiting

2010-03-13T10:11:00.000-08:00

Well, here we are...still waiting. No word, no news, nothing. It has now been over a month since we were told that it would hopefully be any day. That is over a month of staring at the phone every single day willing it to ring. Being frustrated and cranky when it is someone on the other end who is not the agency with the news we've been waiting for. Over a month of checking my email umpteen times a day. Over a month of having to field daily "Did you hear anything yet?" questions. I am surprised I am still functioning at this point. I did jokingly (sort of) tell Pat on Monday that if another week went by without news he should probably expect to have me checked in to a padded cell with sedatives. It really is amazing how strong we can be ("we" as in humans in general) as it is another dreaded week gone by and I am not in the padded cell sedated as I had originally suspected I would be. I have already trained myself to begin thinking hopefully about next week. Telling myself that next week is when we will hear something. In a way the weekends are a bit of a relief in that I know we won;t hear anything so I don't have to stare at the phone and check my emails constantly (well, to be honest I still do...just in case).

Well patient readers, family, friends...we are still waiting, we have not heard anything, I am not in a padded cell and next week is a brand new week full of hope and possibility. I hope my next post will not be next Saturday, but rather during the week and it will be letting everybody know that the most anticipated phone call of my life thus far (even more anticipated then my acceptance to law school) has happened and that we are finally on our way to our little water buffalo...

Sigh

2010-03-06T09:23:00.000-08:00

Friday was a very difficult day for me. Any PAP will tell you that you have good days and bad days with this process. So Friday was one of those bad days. I watched the clock at work and when 10am rolled around I knew we were not going to hear anything and were facing another weekend. I felt sad, I felt angry, I felt despondent. Then I sucked it up as I always do and tried to look forward to the weekend. What makes it especially difficult for us is that we've had troubles with the process in the past. Last summer we had a failed referral that "failed" at the last moment. We were waiting to travel, just like now, and the bottom fell out. As much as we try not to think about this now, it invariably creeps into our minds and the paranoia sets in. "What if there's a problem with the file?" What if it's going to fall through again?". It is so difficult for those thoughts not to rear their ugly heads. But at this point, the only thing that will banish them for good would be to get that cherished call.

Our agency director emailed today (in response to a somewhat paranoid email from me) and assured us that as far as she knew everything was ok and that our file is being worked on. She also told us to hang in there. That may not seem like much to the average reader but to us these simple emails mean the world. It certainly allowed us to face today with renewed optimism. I'm not going to say that the worry and paranoia are gone, but I will say that we have good days and bad days and today is one of the better ones.

We decided to treat ourselves to a trip to one of the second hand baby stores in the Glebe today. And...we found a pair of hockey Robeez! For those without young children, Robeez are these little Canadian made leather slippers with little designs on them. They are great for baby feet as they grip but are not structured so they allow baby's feet to grow and move. Anyway, we have 5 pairs now including our latest find. I have never seen the hockey pair before. They have 2 crossed sticks and a puck. Super cute. We also have turtles, dump trucks, foxes and cars. So cute!....yikes, what's happening to me?? lol

That's all for now....here's hoping we get some good news this week! In the meantime here are some pics of his room (hoping I haven't jinxed anything here). We will have murals on the walls a some point too:

Blah

2010-03-03T19:18:00.000-08:00

I haven't posted in a while because...well...there is nothing to post. No news, nothing at all :( I'm beginning to wonder again if this will ever happen. My new time line involves hoping we get there before he turns 8 months on March 21st but frankly that is looking very unlikely at this point...and I thought we'd be there the end of February. Oh well, not much we can do but try not to think about it.

Another family who has been patiently waiting finally got their call. They will be booking their flights tomorrow. At least someone is getting good news. I will follow their blog and hope one day we will have something interesting to put on our own blog...

Happy belated 7 months little man

2010-02-22T16:26:00.000-08:00

Van turned 7 months yesterday and we sadly missed it :( We're not sure at this point when we'll get over. We haven't heard a peep. We can only assume that it won't be the end of the month like previously hoped. Some days I wonder if this process will ever end...sigh...On the up side we finished his room and have found a friend who will paint a mural on the wall. That's exciting at least.

I'm of course a little bummed with the Olympics so far. There will be no "own the podium" this time around that's for sure. Most disappointing is the play of our men's hockey team! It's going to be a struggle for us to get into the medals never mind the gold medal. For a country passionate about hockey this is a blow for sure. Being a small country there is not a lot we are good at...hockey has always been our game. The one thing we've been able to do well. That's my little Olympic rant.

Hopefully we'll have good news soon...maybe a hockey medal AND travel dates :)

Oh well...

2010-02-12T15:33:00.001-08:00

Can you guess what we got this week? That's right, no news....sigh. Another adoptive blogger said it perfectly "This adoption is starting to feel like a fantasy again". Here goes my calculating mind again: It's Friday so no news for the weekend. Worse is next week is Tet and nothing will be happening then so obviously we won't hear anything now until the 19th of February. Factor notice to travel and we are likely looking at March...hopefully early March...I guess we didn't need to do the crazy rush to finish the nursery and prepare for travel.

It's so tough because on the one hand you want the little tidbits of hope i.e. our director saying she thinks we might hear something. On the other hand maybe it would have been better not to hope that it would happen this week. Oh the crazy roller coaster that is adoption! We did get 4 new pics of him though, which were amazing. We want him in our arms so badly...I can only stare wistfully at the baby clothes so much...

Oh well...at least it's time for the Olympics, which will be nice and distracting...Go Canada!!

Feeling positive

2010-02-07T14:38:00.000-08:00

Today was a great day. We went to our local Vietnamese community Tet celebration. It was busy busy! At first we weren't sure what was going on as we got herded into an auditorium by the crowds. There was a band on stage made up of young guys singing a rock song in Vietnamese. We were wondering if this was it as we had hoped there would be food amongst other things. The song ended and everybody got up and started leaving. We were once again swept up with the crowd down a tiny hall (this building is a maze) until we popped out into a big room filled with food, yummy food. Randomly, amongst all the Vietnamese food was a little stall with Sri Lankan food...interesting...yummy but interesting. After finally breaking free of the crowd we scanned the room and saw some familiar faces from our adoptive community. So, much chatting with the adults and squeezing of cute baby cheeks ensued. The we saw the director of our agency and other agency people and made our way over for a round of hugs and smiles. It was then that our director said that she has been hearing some things that has made her believe that we'll be getting the call soon. Her feelings were even more positive than last Monday. So now we are hovering on the line between cautiously optimistic and "to hell with the cautious part" full on optimistic. The most optimistic we've been yet. We could be on our way to our little guy within the next couple of weeks!!

Then it hit us...holy crap we have a lot to do. So we left Tet festival and went to Ikea to pick up some outstanding items for his room, such as shelving and storage containers. Pat still has to refinish the floor of the room and then we have to reassemble the crib. We have to go through his suitcase to see if we need anything else. It's so much fun doing this last minute rush of planning :) I thought the time would never come.

I will keep everybody posted :)

1st 2 weeks of work and some hope for February

2010-02-02T16:31:00.000-08:00

I know it's been awhile since I've posted but I've been, well, busy with work lol. Also hasn't really been anything to report. Well first, my job is going well so far. I got 2 days of training in Toronto last week so they obviously have plans for me. The actual work has been a bit of a slow start which is not surprising as there is quite a learning curve! I am still excited by it all though which is a good sign.

On the good news front, our AP friends Brodie and Eric are in Vietnam now with their son Samuel. I've seen the family pics and they're so precious. I cried when I saw the first pic of Brodie with Sam. We spent a few coffee's in the past few months talking about whether our day would ever come. Well her's has come and I am so happy for her family!

Now on to us. I was out for dinner with our agency director last night (volunteering for an event to raise money for causes our agency works with). She stated that she was very hopeful that we would travel the end of February! Now, we are not going to get too excited by this news as we all know how unpredictable this process is. But this is more hope than we have had in a long time. I was expecting April to be honest. Again, it may very well end up being that far in the future (although she did say pretty emphatically that it shouldn't be that long). So I told my job today it could be sooner than expected and they have been very supportive. So loyal readers, stay tuned to see how things unfold over the next few weeks :)

Happy 6th months little man

2010-01-21T16:34:00.000-08:00

Van is 6 months today. We had hoped that we would have him by now but alas there are no travel dates in sight at all. On the up side, yesterday I opened my yahoo to see an email from the family that are over in Vietnam now adopting a baby girl from the same orphanage. This family had offered to take pics and video of our little guy so we were counting down the days until January 20th. We were not disappointed!!! She took 4 pictures and 2 short videos. It was so very wonderful to see our little guy. He looks great!! He even had on the little outfit we had sent and his nounou was holding the stuffed toy :) The family also told me in the email that he seemed very happy (laughed a lot) and healthy. So thank you Nadia and family for taking the time to do this and as a result giving us such an amazing gift!!!

Any adoptive family will tell you how hard the wait to travel was and how important updates are, especially updated pictures. It is unfortunate that we have to count on each other to get this information as opposed to getting it from our agency but that is the way it is and you have to accept it. At least we do have each other. I hope that when the time comes we can do the same for another waiting family!

2010's first big change

2010-01-12T10:17:00.000-08:00

In 2000 I graduated from law school and decided that I wanted to travel and work overseas before jumping into my profession. I figured my profession would always be there for me and a 2 year hiatus would not matter. I eagerly departed for a 2 year stint with the JET program working as an assistant language teacher in Japan. While there I was able to immerse myself in another culture, learn a bit of a new language, travel through some of South East Asia (including Vietnam), make great life long friends and generally have a great time. When I returned to Canada in 2002 I thought I would be able to jump into my profession and before long be on the path to a fulfilling and successful career. Well things have not turned out as I had imagined. It started well...I took a job as a legal researcher at a great firm in Halifax. Unfortunately they didn't offer articling (legal apprenticeship required to be called to the bar) so I took an articling position with a refugee clinic that I had been volunteering with. Here is the perfect job for me I thought. The work was incredibly interesting and fulfilling, everything I had hoped for. Unfortunately the director of the clinic was a megalomaniac (possibly borderline psychotic) and I could not stay when my contract was up (sadly the clinic has since collapsed as a result of this person's issues). From that point on I have bounced from crummy small firm to crummy small firm working with some of the weirdest and most unprofessional people one could imagine. All of the stereotypes of the legal profession were in front of me on a daily basis. I contemplated changing careers, moving countries etc. Nothing about this career choice seemed to be working for me. I wondered if going to Japan as opposed to articling right away had been a mistake. Most of my fellow graduates were either partners in their private firms or were secure in a cushy government position. What was to become of me I wondered. I am not one to spend time self wallowing in regret. Life is what it is and you have to move on. I refused to regret the wonderful time I had in Japan. It is a part of who I am today. I figured something would come along eventually. I didn't know how long it would take or in which form it would come.

Well today something did come along and after a lot of soul searching I have decided it is in a form that I can be happy with. A bit more background...Last year I accepted a job as a contract lawyer with a large Canadian firm's Ottawa office. I had a wonderful time there. There were no petty office politics as with small firms, mainly because they had an HR department. This was quite a novelty to me. It was a professional and warm environment which surprised me because I had always thought large firms were soulless factories and therefore not for me. At this firm I was treated with respect and appreciation, something I had rarely felt at the small firms where I had worked previously. Sadly my contract ended and I was once more thrust into the uncertain world of unemployment. This was a difficult time as we had the adoption proceeding but little stability. We were contemplating having to move. Well, last month I heard through a friend that the firm I had so enjoyed working at last year could be looking for a law clerk to fill a role that required a level of experience that a lawyer would best suit. I contacted them right away. I wrestled a bit with the knowledge that I would essentially be working below my education level but in the end the reasonable hours and job security won out. I felt that this job was the best fir for me, my husband and Van. This is what our little family needed right now. Time to check the ego at the door as it were. So today the call came and I without hesitation and with tears in my eyes (happiness I assure you!) accepted their job offer! The terms of the contract are better then I could have hoped for and I feel like a gigantic weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

My one sadness is that I will not be able to stay home with Van. However, Pat is eager to fill that role and be a stay at home dad for the first few months. I think in the long run it will all be for the best. I can look forward to being the one to stay home with the next little one. At least I will have job stability, normal working hours (a rarity in my profession) and we will be able to stay in Ottawa...yay...

The first change of 2010 is a good one. I can't wait for the next big change!!!

Meg

Of lengthening time lines and lack of pictures

2010-01-09T10:04:00.000-08:00

Well it has been a bit of a disappointing few days recently. I am an avid snoop of any adoption related info that could shed some light on our process. Part of that snooping means that I religiously check another agency's website to see what is happening with their Vietnam program. This agency, also located in Ottawa, publishes biweekly updates of all their programs and every second Friday I am on the site eagerly reading their Vietnam info. The updates include where in the process families are and what is happening re: time lines. This past Friday I dove in hoping to read that this agency's post-referral families had received their travel dates. Well, they haven't and, sadly, some of them have been waiting 7 months! There are also now some families with our agency that have been waiting for more that 7 months. It therefore appears that this is the new standard of time. If that is the case then we cannot even hope to travel until at the earliest March and perhaps even April. When we were first matched to Van he was only a couple of weeks old. We thought we would be for sure meeting him at 6 months or younger and prepared accordingly. It now appears he will be 8 to 9 months old. This may mean we will have to reassess his whole wardrobe, baby car seat etc. One of the many difficulties of adoption I suppose. On the up side, we are very lucky that he was so young when we were matched to him. There must be families now who prepared for a baby but will be ending up with a toddler. I can say from all of the research I've done that there is a big difference between welcoming a baby versus a toddler both in terms of home preparation and emotional preparation.

On another note. I received an email from a family that did a home country visit to Vietnam with their two children in December. While there they visited Hoa Binh as that is where their son spent the first months of his life. The family gave me and other waiting families the link to their shutterfly account in case our children are in some of the photos (they took a bunch of pics of the orphanage and some pics have some of the children in them). Well I eagerly went on and scoured the pics but alas little Van was not in them. This is the second time we've received a batch of pics from Hoa Binh. Unfortunately neither batch produced a much hoped for pic of Van. So we continue to wait for any updated pics so that we can see what he looks like now and so, frankly, we can see that he still exists! We have placed all our hope on the family from our agency who leave for Vietnam next week. They should catch sight of our little Van on January 20th. We can't wait!!

Meg